1 John 5

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New Testament
Is this beleef in CeilingCatkittin?

1 Everycat who sez Jebus is kittin uv CeilingCat, n kitty who luvs CeilingCat luvs Jebus.2 We luv kittens uv CeilingCat: Is luv CeilingCat n' duin' teh stuffs he is tell us to do.3 Do stuffs is luv CeilingCat: Be goodcat. He isn't sez thing too hard,4 all CeilingKittin has teh power. Is total WOOT to has teh power.5 Hoo is it to has teh power in teh wr0ld? Is him dat sez Jebus is sun uv CeilingCat.

6 Jebus cum by wuter and bloods. Hover Cat sayz so.7 There's three in Ceiling, right? Ceiling Cat, Jebus and Hover Cat. And three equals one. WTF? Srsly.8 There's three on Earths, invisible kitteh, wuter and bloods. Three equals one. WTF? OK.9 Wot Ceiling Cat sayz iz more important dan wot kitteh sayz. Duh. Ceiling Cat said stuffs bout Jebus.10 You no believes in Jebus, you maeks Ceiling Cat a liar, k?11 Fame! I'm gonna live forever! With soem halp frum Jebus.12 Has Jebus, has live forever. Srsly.

The Sures of Faith

13 I writed you these tings so you believe in Ceiling Cat, and the gonna live forever, and Jebus.14 And we knoe if we preys for somethin Ceiling Cat wants to do anyway, he hears.15 Srsly. Ceiling Cat is listenin.16 Sum sinz not so bad. Your brother do that he be OK. Sum sinz rly bad tho.17 Bein bad is sin, but sum not so bad.

18 You down with Ceiling Cat, you no sin. Saitin no can has touchin you.19 All da werld bad and evul.20 Jebus has cum. He let you knoes dat. You down with Ceiling Cat and Jebus. Dis da true Ceiling Cat and the gonna live forever.21 Kittens, no preyin to stachooz. Peace.

1 John 5
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