1 Kings 10
From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
|“1 Kings 10”|
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Teh Kween Of Sheeba Coems To Jerusalem
1 When da kween of Sheeba (No Riba?) herded about teh fame of Solomon and his relayshun to teh name of the Ceiling Cat, she wanted to tested him with kwestchuns that were teh hardzors.2 She camed to Jerusalem with lots of purdy camels and spices and gold and catnips and other purty things srsly. She wanted to talk to Solomon about what was on her mindz.3 Solomon was teh smartz and answerded all her kwestchuns, cuz he was ~*King*~ and nothing was too harded for him4 Sheeba saw all of his Wisdomz and the kitteh palace he built5 And his foodz and teh offishul kittehs, and their robez and and burnt offeringsz at the temple to the Ceiling Cat6 She sayded to King "Oh dang, wut I heard about you was truesies!"7 "But I couldn't believe teh awesomez 'till I sawded it wif mah own eyez. But srsly, this is more awesomez than wut my peoples telld me!"8 "You must be vair happy! And all those kittehs before you must be teh happeh too!"9 "Praise be to the Celing Cat, who maded you awesomez and put you in charge hur."10 She gave the King man 4 1/2 tons of catnip, sum spices, an maybe some stones. Never did anyone outdo her gifts.11 (Soem d00d naemd Hiram has shipz, n dey bring goldz n moar 1337 stufz)12 Solomon uses the gifts. He uses woodz to make support for temple to Ceiling Cat. He makes harps and kitty lyres for to make jamz.13 King Solomon Kitteh gave this Sheeba all the cheezburgers she wanted, and then she went home.
King Solomonz Moniez
14 Solomon was the favorite, so he got lots and lots of gold and stuffz yearly.15 This was not even inclooding monies that he gotted from merchants and other peoples.16 King Solomon Kitteh maded sum gold shieldz, a hoal lotta gold put in evry one.17 He maded two free hunert itty-bitty shieldz. Den he putted dem in da Palace of da Forest of Lebanon.18 Den he had maded a big King kitteh-bed wit gold on da outside.19 Da kitteh-bed had sickz climber-up thingies and wuz rounded on da top. On bof sidez wuz pawrestz wit a giant lion-kitteh sittin next to dem.20 Twelv giant lion-kittehs satted on da sickz climber-up thingies wit two on each thingie. No udder King Kitteh eber had one likez it befor.21 All da King Solomon Kittehs drinkin bowlz were maeda gold an all da stuffz in da Palace of Lebanon were gold. Dere wuz no silber stuff cuz back den silber was not want.22 Da king had bunchez of big boatz dat got stuffs along wit Hiram dudes boatz. Every tree yearz dey cum bak bringin gold, silber, big teeth and little an big monkies, srsly.23 King Solomon Kitteh had moar stuffz and smartz dan da udder king kittehs.24 Evrybodee wanted ta heer wut he sed so dey came around lotz.25 Wen dey came dey brot stuffs liek silber, gold, dresses, pew-pew wepunz and catnipz, horsies and mulesies.26 Solomon gotz alotta charyots and horsiez, rly a hole bunch an dey had dere own citee, plus sumz he had in Jerryslam.27 Da king maded silber commun like fleaz, an cedar tree stuf liek hairballz.28 Solomonz horsiez caim frum Egypt an Kue.29 Frum Egypt dey gotz a charyot foar sickz hunert silberz an horsiez foar ahunert fiftee. Dey also gave dem two king kittehs ov da Hittites an Arameowns.