1 Timothy 1

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New Testament

1 O hai Timothy, dis is Paul. Ceiling Cat makeded me an apossel of teh Jebuz, srsly.2 I iz riting you cuz ur lik mai reel kitteh. U can has grase n mercy n peece from Ceiling Cat n his kitteh teh Christ Jebus.3 When I tooked mah invisible bicycle to Masedoneea, I asked u to be a gud kitteh n stai at Efesus n tel othr kittehs to stop speekin different ideas,4 dat tehy not lissen 2 mifs or fambly trees dat go on n on n on. Teh mifs n fambly treez makes teh kittehs fight n distractz dem from fayth in Ceiling Cat. Iz sayin u dat agin now.5 But Iz not mad and u should no dat; iz cuz of luv an conscience an fayth.6 Sum peeps talkin vain talk;7 dey wanna teech da law but dey no unnerstan wut dey even sayin.8 We knowz da law is good when cats followz it;9 nobody makeded da law for rychus cats, dey makeded it for bad mean cats dat doesnt luv Ceiling Cat, dat killz momz n dadz n other cats,10 n for cats dat lieks buttsecks 2 much,11 accordin 2 da gospel of Ceiling Cat which got giveded 2 me.12 Ceiling Cat FTW cuz he noez I r faythful n he makeded me his servant,13 even tho I useded 2 say bad thingz n persekyute othr cats n stuff: he showed me I r doin it rong,14 n now I'z ok.15 Iz faythful n good 2 say dat Jebus came 2 da world 2 help us stop doin it rong. I useta be da worst of all,16 but Christ Jebus gaveded me mercy n now Jebus showz evryone how much he sufferd, so they can has eternal life 2.17 Dear Invisibl Ceiling Cat, u pwn; plz hav honor n glory 4ever kthxbai.18 OK Timothy, now iz time 4 u 2 fite da good fite,19 wif fayth n good conscience n stuff, srsly,20 not liek Hymenaeus n Alexander cuz dey say bad stuffs about Ceiling Cat, so I gived them ovr 2 evl oposn cat sos they wil lurn a lessn.

1 Timothy 1
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