2 Corinthians 12

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1-6 Ai haz mowr boastin to do. Even tho yu givz meh nufin, Ai continyu wif Ceiling Cat's revelashuns fuh yu. I haz dis kitteh dat wuz en teh Thyrd Ceiling, rly, an did he haz a kitteh-form der? Ai haz no idea. Ceiling cat noes, srsly. An Ai noe dat dis kitteh wuz takn to teh Ceiling. He herd tings. Tings he PWND me not to sai to yu. Ai tawk abowt kitteh liek dat cuz, tawk abowt meh? DO NOT WANT. But Ai tells yu mai seekret weeknesh. Even az a boastkitteh, Ai not foolkitteh. Cuz I b speekin dat truf, srsly! I haz PWN now. Yu no haz thots abowt wut Ai do or sai.

7-10 I no b hazin teh conseetnesh ov relevashuns. Dey b thorn in mai furz! Minyun of Basement Cat torments meh. Ai ax Jebus to taek dat frum meh. Jebus seys, "Mai grace, yu haz eet. Mai PWN is maed purfekt en ur weeknesh." Sos Ai tawk mowr abowt mez weeknesh to yu. JEBUS' PWN I WANTZ EET! Dis iz wai, fuh Jebus Ai sez to mai weeknesh, "Stai wif meh en teh PWN ov othr kittehs, en teh toylut bowl, teh littrbx. Wen Ai haz weeknesh, Ai haz Jebus' PWN."

11-13 Yu maed meh luk liek a fool! Fooleshnesh, I haz eet frum yu! Yu shud giev meh cheezeburgerz! Ai haz mowr PWN den anny plaztik kitteh yu giev cheeseburgers to! Ur plaztik kittehs noe haz myraklez, I HAZ DEM! Yu are PWND bi mai congregayshun. Ai wuz nevr a burdin to yu! Yu shuld haev givin meh cheeseburgerz, srsly. Can I haz cheeseburger frum yu?

14-18 Sos Ai haz a tyrp to yu coeming up, an Ai DO NOT WANT to b makin maiself a burdenz! Can I haz yu or not? Babi kittehs shud giev cheeseburgerz to der mommy an daddy kittehs, not teh othr wai arownd. I giev yu awl mai cheeseburgers. Can I haz sum bak frum yu or not? Ai not a burdin to yu. Craftinesh, I haz eet! Ai seen yu in teh toylut bowl! But deed Ai maek fun ov yu? NOES. Ai gaev yu TitusCat, an owr bruthr kitteh wif heem. TitusCat noe haz funz ov yu. TitusCat sed te h sam stuf az meh, srsly!

19-21 TitusCat an meh, b defendin us! We haz teh PWN of Jebus thru Ceiling Cat, srsly! Wut we do, iz fuh yr own riteoushnesh! I haz skeered fuh yu. Ai gunna fynd yu en teh toylut bowl, Ai noes eet. Ai gunna see jelluz, angr, toylut werdz, an stuf. I haz skeered cuz Ceiling Cat and Hee humblz meh fuh yu, Ai wil haz greef frum yr invisible error! Run to Ceiling Cat befoer Ai gets theer! Noe can haz teh buttsecks an teh invisible error anny mowr!

2 Corinthians 12
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