2 Corinthians 5

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New Testament

Ours Ceiling Howz

1 So we knoes if teh big earth place wear we livz be destroy-ed, we goes to livz wit teh Ceiling Cat in teh big howz in teh ceiling that he maded his self.2 We really wantz to live wit teh Ceiling Cat3 cuz we knoes that if we livz wit teh Ceiling Cat we has cheezburgers and bukkits.4 But for now it is teh sux becuz we don't has cheezburgers and they stoled all bukkits and we really isn't happy cuz we wants to live wit Ceiling Cat wear we eatz cheezburgers by teh dozens!5 Ceiling Cat has did this on purpose tho cuz we has to earn cheezburgerz and teh great bukkit in teh ceiling.

6 So we alwaiz knoes that we'z herre and not therr wit Ceiling Cat.7 We has teh faith thing, not proof or nuthin.8 Yeah, we confidunt but prefers Ceiling Cat Land.9 So we tries to make him laiks us and we give him bukkits of cheezburgers and not eateds them ourselfs evun tho we not even in teh ceiling yet.10 Cuz we knoes that we has to stand at invisuble gate to ceiling and shows that we not peed on carpet or tear up sofa or nuthin cuz we gets our cheezburgers if we dun good stuff and not be bad.

Teh Minustry of Makin Up and Stuff

11 Cuz we knoes what its laik to be scared of Ceiling Cat and stuff we tries to get other kittehs to be good and stuff, too. Ceiling Cat knoes and we should kno he knoes and try not to do bad stuff.12 We not tries to make u believz us, but really yeah we is cuz we thinks we is rite cuz u not does stuff rite.13 If we is crazy, it's for teh Ceiling Cat. If not, u shood do what we do.14 Our Ceiling Cat tells us to make u believs us cuz he died for you, dood.15 He dieded for every lolcat and lolphin and lolrus so that we allz follow him and stuff.

16 So we don't think laik u other lolcats do. We did thinked laik that, tho, but not anymoar.17 If u is one wit teh Ceiling Cat then u old self is gone and a nu one tooked its place.18 I gotted all dis from Ceiling Cat who dieded so our bad stuff wasn't so bad no moar and we could make up for it and stuff.19 Cuz Ceiling Cat killed his self in hooman form so all the bad stuff we do not so bad no moar.20 So now we ambasadoors of Ceiling Cat and we talk for him and stuff. Don't keep doin bad stuff and say youz sry if u does plzkthnx.21 Ceiling Cat maded his self into a hooman and didunt do nuthin wrong so he could take care of all teh bad stuff for us and we cud be one wit Ceiling Cat.

2 Corinthians 5
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