2 Kings 5

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Old Testament

Naaman gawt melty face

1 So dere wuz diz guy Naaman, he wuz liek mastah of teh Syreean kings armay. Him had teh graetnez and teh honorz cuz Ceiling Cat gief him dese, him wuz also nyce but omg him haev a melty face LOLZ!!!

2 Meanwhile dem Syreeans went out in ur Israil steelin ur wumun to be slayve for teh wyf of teh Naaman guy3 Teh slayve was liek "sum guy in Samareeya cud toetlay figz ur melty face dood, kthxbai" 4 So her told teh guy Naaman wha her told teh wyf5 An teh king wuz liek "lol, srsly go see teh guy an ai wriet lettah so teh otha king iz cool" so him wented an tooked sum Cheezburgrz and lots of stuf to waer liek hatz

6 So he tooked teh lettah to tha Israil king an wuz liek "now u plz fikz mai melty face kthxbai"7 Teh Israil king wuz liek "wtf? ai iz no Ceiling Cat an u haf made me rip my clothz a bit"

8 Tehn tha holey man Elisha herded teh king has ripd his clothz a bit and wuz liek "o hai omahghad ai tell u of teh prafet guy who can figz teh melty face"

9 Naaman went to see diz Elisha at him place an wuz all up him frunt dor waitn fur him wif him hors 10 Elisha jez told him, him shud clean in teh rivah and him wud be srsly supar.

11 But Naaman was liek wtf? him dunt want to spaek to me? ai tauht him wud be all liek "Ceiling Cat fix tha melty guy MEOW plz"

12 Him wuz liek "i can has rivah at hoem why ai com heer to wash? noob"

13 But hiz doodz wer liek "u shud wash, srsly"

14 So him washded in teh rivah an wuz liek "omahghad ai haz been cureded of teh mewlty face"

Gehazi beein nice, u doin it wrong

15 Him wen to teh guy and wuz liek "Elisha ur mai tru Ceiling Cat for reel i hart u an gief u Cheezburgrz"

16 But him wuz all "o noes i dun want, ai iz not teh Ceiling Cat pls keep ur Cheezburgrz"

17 Naaman wuz liek "srsly?"

18 Elisha sed "ya rly"

19 So Naaman sed "cool an kthxbai" and leffted with all his Cheezburgrz an Hatz!!

20 But dis Gehazi guy wuz liek "wtfbbq? der iz Cheezburgrz an him dunt wan tehm? I CAN HAS!!"

21 Gehazi chaseded aftr him and Naaman was like "wtf u ok?"

22 Gehazi wuz liek "yah i iz supar awsum but pls gief tha guyz haer some Cheezburgrz and sum clothz liek Hatz, tehy need em srsly"

23 Naaman wuz liek "npz" an him gief tehm. 24 But Gehazi was bad kitteh an keptded all teh Cheezburgrz an Hatz for him 25 Wehn Gehazi wen hoem Elisha wuz liek, dude wtf srsly!? 26 He sed to him "ai wanteded no Cheezburgrz u cant has Cheezburgrz wehn iz not fer u"

27 Elisha wuz mahd and sayed "yu can has teh guyz melty face u noob" and OH NOES!!! Gehazi haz MELTY FACE NOW!!!

2 Kings 5
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