Acts 27

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New Testament
Pall Is Sent To Rome

1 when we knew we wos goin to Italy, we was sent to Julius.2 Wee wer gon to eest cost of Aseea, accomponeed by Aristarchus.3 Next dae wee put in at Sidon an Julius treetid Pall weth care and stuffs. Srsly.4 From dare Wii saled under teh proteckshun of Cyprus n latar arrived @ Myra in Lycia.5 Den darr centureeun found eh Alexandrian sheep saling for Italee, and dey let uz and mah guyz on board. Srsly.6 Den dey warr saling slowlee and all wer kalm. Der wind wer meen to shep and not let shep go forwerd sometimes.7 Aftar loooong tiem dey wer come to Fair Havens near teh citee ob Lasea.8 Den Pall said to dem, "Guyz, I perceev dat da trip gon b with dameg an grate loss, not onlee of teh ship, but ov arr lives."9 "DO NOT WANT!" dey ses. But teh centureeon was persaudid mor by teh pilot than wat Pall said. Srsly? Jerk.10 Aftar much stuf and somtin bout a south wind, dey set sail along Crete.

Shiprek! DO NOT WANT!

11 Not long latar, dey crash.12 Teh wind wer blowing very speedy an took ship with. Dey com neer island calld Clauda.13 Tree days passd.14 They go long tiem without food cuz of it gon away in the wind. srsly. den Pall ses to pilot and centurreun, "Yer dum. Listen 2 meh! srsly!15 But don get all sad n stuf."16 Latar dat same nite an angel of Jebus an Ceiling cat sed to Paul,17 Dun be a scaredy cat, Paul. You must stand befor Caesar; an behuld, Ceiling Cat has grantid u all dose whu ar saleing with u.18 darefor, keep up ur courag."19 Many dais paasd n on teh forteenth nite dey wer beeing drivun out of teh adriatic sea.20 Outa feer of teh ship crashin on rocks, dey put down teh anchor.21 Den pall talkd som moar and blah, dey cut da ropes and go saling free as a hovercat now, and dis hovercat u kannot change!.22 Later, round dawn, dey wer enkuraged by Paul to eat an Pall congradulated on goin so long without cheezburger.23 Dey came to eh beech.24 Da ship got stuck. Srsly.25 Theyr wer soldiers and dey wanted to kil teh guys on teh ship so they no scape,26 But teh centurrreun brought Pall and guyz with and dey wer safe on land.

Acts 27
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