Exodus 18

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Old Testament

Jethro vizit Moses

1 Den Jethro, preest of Midian and tom-in-law of Moses, heerd eveything Ceiling Cat dun for Moses An for his kittehs uv Isrel, An how teh Ceiling Cat had brot Israel out ov da kitteh litters dat nevr got changed. Srsly.

2 After Moses sed DO NOT WANT to his wyf Zipporah, his tom-in-law Jethro gots her,3 An her two boy kittehs. One kitteh was named Gershom, for Moses sayd, "I is become a alien in a foreign littr box";4 An teh othr wus named Eliezer, he sayd, "My father's Ceiling Cat was my d00d; he save me from teh soard of Faroe."

5 Jethro, Moseses Tom-in-law, together wit Moses' boy kittehs An wyf, came to he in the sandbox, where he wuz curled up near teh mountain of Ceiling Cat.6 Jethro had sent werd to him, "Iz, your Tom-in-law Jethro, iz coming to u wif ur wyf An her two boy kittehs."

7 So Moses went out to meet his tom-in-law and rolled on teh sidewak and licked him. They rubbed on each others and den went onto da sofa.8 Moses told his tom-in-law about alls teh Ceiling Cat had dun to Faroe and teh Gypshuns for Isreel's sayk and about all teh hardships dey met long teh way and how teh Ceiling Cat had saveded dem.

9 Jethro purrd when he heer about all teh good things Ceiling Cat had dun for Isreel in pwning teh Gypshuns.

10 He sayd, "Praise be to Ceiling Cat, who pwned all teh Gypshuns An Faroe, and who maded the Gypshuns leave da kittehs alones.

11 Now I no that Ceiling Cat is greater than all other cats ov ceiling, cuz he pwned those who thot they pwned teh Isreel kittehs."

12 An den Jethro, Moses' tom-in-law, gived a cheezburgr An Pokemans to Ceiling Cat, An Aaron came with all the old kittehs of Isreel to eat cheezburgr buns wif Moses' tom-in-law and Ceiling Cat. Nom nom nom.

Apointmint ov Judges

13 Teh next day Moses took his seat to serve as judge for teh kittehs, An they stood around him teh hole day and nite.14 When his tom-in-law saw all that Moses was doing for teh kittehs, he said, "What is this you are doing for the kittehs? Why y00 sit as judge by yurself, while all these peepls stand around you teh hole day and nite?" Srsly?

15 Moses anserd him, "cause the peepls come to me to no wut Ceiling Cat want.16 When dey has a awgooment, it is brot to me, An I decide between teh kittehs and tellz them of Ceiling Cat's rulez."

17 Jethro say "yor doin it wrong.18 y00 gonna mayk urself tird An teh peepls get tire to. is too much fr just wun persn.19 take my avyse An Ceiling Cat be wif yoo. is gud for to hav juhjes An bring prolems to Ceiling Cat.20 is gud yoo teech teh peepls wut Ceiling Cat say An tells tehm how to liv An do.21 but y00 shud chooz sum gud kittehs to be leedrs of teh peepls: leedrs for lots An lots of peepls. tehy shud be fraid o Ceiling Cat An can be trustd An no tayks cheezburgr bribes.22 tehy be judges fr teh peepl frever. tehy cn bring teh reely hard argments to yoo, but tehy can figur owt teh small wuns. tahts eezyur fr u.23 if u doo tihs lyk Ceiling Cat say, yoo not gonna be tire An teh peepls all go home hapee."

24 Moses do wut Jethro say25 An he choosd gud mens frum teh Izrelites. he mayd tehm leedrs of lots An lots o peepls.26 tehy wuz judges fr teh peepl frever, An tehy brang teh hard argments to Moses but figgurd owt teh smal wuns bai tehmselfs.

27 Tehn Moses say kthxbai to Jethro An Jethro go home.

Exodus 18
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