Exodus 20

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Old Testament
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Noo Roolz - Teh Ten Commanders
U can haz.
1 Then Ceiling Cat spoked all them werds:


2 I iz Ceiling Cat An I iz Top Cat, An I broughted u out of hawt litturbawx wit no cheezbrgrs for hard mousin at all


3 No can has other ceiling cat!! U gotz other Ceiling Cat, I shoot yous wit mah lollazer eyes. Srsly.


4 If u try be Ceiling Cat of any of mai creayshunz up in floaty skai, down in erth or in watr or I shoot yous wit mah lollazer eyes.5 If u think faek Ceiling Cat iz Ceiling Cat, I mek u ded An ur kittenz ded An if yur kittenz have kittenz, dey be ded too, for being stupid and stuffs.6 If not I wuv u An all ur lotz uf kittenz!


7 U sez Ceiling Cat bad, I shoot yous wit mah lollazer eyes, cuz I dun liek it. Srsly.


8 Remembur Caturday An keep holy.9 U ketch mousies 6 dais An finish ketchin, K?10 Caturday, u no ketchin mousies. U An all ur peepz go wrship me. And, if yu beez gudd, I maks it so yu can stays home and do alla stuffs yu wanted tu doos.11 I maded heavenz An erth An see An the stuff that does teh funney hoppey stuffz in An on it - so I make it holy cuz I no ketch mousies.


12 Bez u good to papa kitteh An mama kitteh so u has long nine liefs.


13 U no maek peepz ded with teh malice! Srsly!


14 U no maek sexxes wit other gurlz or menz than urs (that mi jobz!).


15 U no taek cheezburgerz for free if not getz for free.


16 U no tell bad stuff ov ur neibor.


17 U no wantz neibor cheezburgerz! No wief, no gurlz, no menz, no abimalz, NO BUKKITZ! DEY NOT UR BUKKITZ, K? dey da LOLrus' bukkits.


18 When peepz see mai great orkestr wit thundr An all cool speshul effects thei wur scairdey wimps


19 Thei sed to Mozus 'U goez speek to uz An we will listen; but Ceiling Cat will shoot us wit His lazer eyes!'


20 Mozus LOL'd lotz, An a bit moar, for thei wuz such scairdies, An sed 'Ceiling Cat no maek u ded; he just wantz to hav fun wit u gais An maek u scairdey cats so u obei him.'


21 But peepz wur still scairdies An let Mozus go ther to Ceiling Cat.

Ceiling Cat roolz for idles an alters

22 Ceiling Cat sez "Tellz them scairdies: 'U see I meowed to u from big ceilingz.23 U no mek me of silvar or goldz.


24 U mek me altar of kitteh-litturz An gif me pwnz0rzed animulz ther An I gif u cheezburgr.25 But u no maek me altar of bjutiful stonez. DO NOT WANT!26 An u no use steps on altar or I can see ur penises. DO NOT WANT!"

Exodus 20
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