Exodus 31

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Old Testament
Bezalel an Oholiab. Serious! reel namez

1 Ceiling Cat sayed to Moses2 "Lookz, I dun sayed to Bezalel, son uv Uri, son uv Hur of teh tribe uv Judah, "O hai!"3 an I putz invisible ceiling cat in him, an smartz to do all stuff4 laik playin' with teh shinies5 an with teh rox and teh ded trees
6 an he an Elihav teh son uv Achisamach will do tings I laiks7 an dey will makes teh mtg tent an teh box uv teh lawz an its cuverin an all its baskits8 an teh tabul an its baskits, an teh pur lamp an its baskits, an teh lolcatnip tabul9 an teh tabul for givin cheezburgrz to Ceiling Cat10 an plus teh clotheses, Aaron's priest stuff and his kidz clotheses when tehy act lik priests,11 an teh catnip and air feshnerz for the mtg tent. Tehy hav to do it lik i tol u."

Teh Caturday

12 Plus Ceiling Cat also sayed to Moses,13 "Tell tehm Israelites, 'O hai gaiz! U gotz 2 watch out 4 teh Caturday. Iz mai way of reminding u an ur kidz who iz bosscat. 14 " 'No srsly, watch out 4 teh Caturday, iz importen. NE1 what uses it lik litter box gotta be pwned 2 deth; just nap tehn or get put out teh house.15 Play with shinies 4 siks daze, but teh sebbenth is Caturday, importen to Ceiling Cat. Nap or get pwned 2 deth, lik I just sayed.16 U an ur kidz gonna keep this Caturday rule from now on.17 Tellin U agin, iz mai way of remindin u who iz bosscat, cuz i made teh ceiling and teh house in siks days, but then i napped.' " 18 So when Ceiling Cat dun sayed all that to Moses up on Mount Sinai, he gived him teh two rox of the Sayin, the rock tiles scratched up by teh claw of Ceiling Cat.

Exodus 31
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