Exodus 7

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Old Testament

1 Then Ceiling Cat sez to Moses, "U iz like Ceiling Cat 2 Pharaoh, an Aaron iz ur prophit.2 U sez what I tells u, and Aaron will do stufs too. When Aaron tells Pharaoh to let ur d00dz go3 I maik Pharaoh all meen an say no,4 and then I be in Pharaoh's Egypt judgin' his Egypt d00dz,5 and Pharaoh will know I gotz ninja powerz den."

6 Moses and Aaron did what they wuz told.7 Moses wuz 80 An Aaron was 83 when they talkeded to Pharaoh.

Aaron'z staph iz turnd 2 snaik!

8 Ceiling Cat sez to Moses and Aaron,9 When Pharaoh sayz 'do cool stufs wif powerz,' frow ur stick onna ground, An it will b a snaek.

10 So Moses and Aaron went to seez Pharaoh. Aaron frew his stick onna ground, and wtf it's a snaek!11 Pharaoh got sum sorsors to do fancy stufs.12 Pharaoh's sorsors also made sum snaekz, but Aarons snaek eated dem.13 But Pharaoh sez, "so whut?"

Plaig uv bluud

14 Then Ceiling Cat sez, "Pharaoh is no fun, and is keepin ur d00dz.15 Go see Pharaoh tomarow when he iz on da Nile. Don' ferget ur stick.16 Den u say, 'Let mah d00dz go!'17 And den u put ur stick inna water, and OMGWTF it b blud and stinky (kittehs no like water,but blud iz wurs),18 and Egypt d00dz no can has fish. An no can has drinkz An no can has baffs either, ksept in blud, wich is stinkful.

19 Ceiling Cat also sez "U tell Aaron he gots to put his hands onna waters in Egypt and OMG dem is blud too, even in da bukkets!"

20 So Moses and Aaron did what they wuz told.21 And BLARG the fish r ded. An teh kittehs wuz all sad cuz no can heas fishz An has to eatz meeses evry day An htey sed BOOOOOORRRRRRING!!!!!!

22 But Pharaoh's sorsors who wuz liek majik d00ds in WoW An thot dey wuz teh kewl An stufs made blood too, and Pharaoh sez "So whut?"23 Then Pharaoh went in his howse.24 And the Egypt d00dz maded holes inna ground for water.

25 It wuz 7 days after Ceiling Cat made teh waterz blud.

Exodus 7
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