Ezekiel 12

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Old Testament

1 Teh meowz of ceiling cat come to meh.

2 "kitteh of man, u livs wif reblious peeps. dems haz wiskehs to feel but do not feels and haz eyez to see in night but still do not seez cuz dems is reblious.

3 soooo, kitteh of men, pak ur stuffs fur teh exiles, and in teh sonshinez wyle dey iz lookin, start walkin to sumwerez else. maybeez dey will get it, evn tho dey r reblious peeps.

4 wyle iz sony and dey iz watchin tak all ur paked stuf outsides. den when teh son iz goin down and dey r still lookin, go to de exiles.

5 wyle dey iz STILL watchin dig hole under teh fence so u can tak ur stuffs.

6 den kary ur stuffs off inteh teh sunsets. den cover ur face soz u cant cee stuffs cuz u iz a sign of teh house of isreal."

7 soz i did wat teh cieling cat sed. i taks ma stuffs outsied and dug under teh fence wif ma pawz. den i walkd off inteh teh sunsets.

8 teh next mornin i iz wakin up and teh ceiling cat iz talkin to meh agin!

9 hez all lieks "did deh ask u wat u waz doin?

10 NOZ?! u tellz dem teh ceiling cat sez dis oricle iz bout teh prince of teh jeruselemz and teh hole hous of isreal!

11 u sez 'i iz sign for u!' den dey will be teh captives in teh exiles.

12 teh prince iz teh only one who wil takes his stuffs and goes and teh hole will alredy be der! and he wil covr hiz faec.

13 i wil spred net for him and wil catch him. wil tak him to babilon teh land of teh chaldans but he wil not cee it and he wil be dedz.

14 den i wil skaterz hiz peeps and wil follow dem wif mah claws.

15 dey wil noe i am teh ceiling cat wen i skaterz dem.

16 but maybeez i wil spare sum of dem frum teh playgus and teh hungrees so dey can tel oter kittehs what dey did bad. and dey wil noe i iz ceiling cat."

17 and teh wurd of teh ceiling cat came tu meh

1 18 "son of teh kittehs, be skared wen u eatz ur fuds and haz shakys when u drinkz.

19 sey tu de peopls of teh lands 'dis iz teh wat teh ceiling cat seyz bout doz dat livs in teh jeruslem and teh isreals: dey wil be skared when dey eatz and hav a sad wen dey drinks and evrythin wil getz ownd.

20 teh townz wil be emteh. den u wil noe i am teh ceiling cat fur sursly!"

21 teh wurd of teh of teh ceiling cat came tu meh

22 "son of teh kittehs, u haz a sayin in isreal 'teh moonz go bi and teh vishonz com tu nothin'?

23 tel dem 'teh ceiling cat putz end to dis,srsly im gunna do it dis time!' tel dem 'teh days iz comin wen dis stuf is fur srsly gunna happen furealz. no mor invisible visions.

24 but i wil stil meow to u and u wil do wat evr teh ef i sey! srsly i iz gunna do wat i sey dis time, srsly!"

25 teh wurd of teh ceiling cat came tu meh

26 "son of teh kittehs, of teh isreals, seys dis vision is fureal guys, srsly and iz gunna hapen in teh futures!

27 and tel dem dis is wat teh ceiling cat haz said and i iz not gunna wait anymor and i iz srsly gunna do it dis time.so seys teh ceiling cat."

Ezekiel 12
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