Ezekiel 13

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Old Testament

1. Dat Ceiling Cat caim adn told me things

2. Kitteh, Tells dem other cats Profesiz shud come frum teh hart, Heed teh Ceiling Cat Wurdz.

3. Teh Ceiling Cat sed this, Profet kittehs whos not lisin to Ceiling Cat r bad, dey not seez gud.

4. I has Profet frind in Izrale who look liek a fox.

5. He does bad, hes banzØrd frum heaven 4 ever.

6. Tehy FAIL hard, I hird they say mean stuff abawt Celing Cat.

7. I sawd thingz I did not undrstand frum thos kittahs, bad thingz w/ no-noez.

8. Ceiling Cat seez bad stuffs frum them, they BANNED! Ceiling Cat wil not shar Ceiling w/ thos kittehs!

9. Ceiling Cat iz in y0r Izrale, Profetically Cleansing. LoL!

10. Naw noe bad stuffs has 2 come frum Curruptimicated Profets.

11. Oh noes! It's teh Fl00dz! Tiem to renew! Said the kittehs.

12. Now evrykitteh can see haw bad dey wer!

13. Mor sturmz then hit reely tuff, Kittehs noe Ceiling Cat iz mad and goes BLAAM!

14. Ceiling Cat went berzirk adn makes boomers fur all kittehkind to kno abawt adn say oh noes!

15. Ceiling Cat stoppd the berzirking, all teh kittehs rejois!

16. A grate clarety showd the Profet kittehs in truble with Ceiling Cat.

17. Curses wer maed in young ladykittehs bi Ceiling Cat.

18. Evrykitteh had to be gud or the grate kitteh in teh sky wil be mad agin!

19. Ceiling Cat sed things only sum kittehs undrstud gud.

20. Then teh grate one sed he let trouble go a way.

21. Oh glori to teh Ceiling Cat, He dun and dem der savd teh bad kittehs Prisinerz.

22. Ceiling Cat sed "U made me Sad, no doing that! I make evrykitteh safe k?" And he gav tiny babeh kittehs shoos adn they said "OMG! Shoos!". And he sed "Shame on wiked kittehs, go away now.".

23. LoL I savd teh dayz! said the kitteh of glori, kittehs wer then happi cats.

Ezekiel 13
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