Ezekiel 8

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Old Testament
Glow d00d pullz Zeke's hare

1 In teh sixf yer, in teh sixf munf on teh fiff dai, wile I was sit in ma haus an teh eldas of Judah am sit b4 me, teh paw ov teh sovrin ceiling cat cum up me dere.2 I looksee, an I seed a figur liek dat of a d00d. Juss liek in teh furst chapta him woz all fier from waste down an teh d00d's top haff wuz shiny liek hot mettal.3 His handy cum out an grabz ma hare. Him pullz ma hare, pickin me ups an taek me on flite to teh sitty ov Jerusalem (showin in-flite movie on der way), to teh open bit ov norf gaet in inna cort were teh idol dat maek effrywun jellus stud.4 An dere b4 me woz teh shiny ov teh ceiling cat ov Izrale, az in teh vishun I seed in the plane.

5 Den he sed to me, "Kitteh ov kitteh, look to teh norf." Soez I look, an in teh openin norf ov teh gaet ov teh alta I seen dis idol of jellus. 6 An he sed, "Kitteh ov kitteh, do yu see norty fings teh haus ov Izrale duz dere, tings dat am drive me way from mah sanktury? But yu gonn a see werse fings Kitteh!"

Zeke digz in teh wall

7 Den he am taek me to ted open ov teh cort. I looksee an sawed a hoel in teh wall.8 He sed to me, "Kitteh ov kitteh, now dig in to teh wall liek a dog." Soez I dugs in to teh wall liek a dog an seez a dorway dere. 9 An he sed to me, "Go tru da dor an u seez all ov der norty an wikkid tings dey do in dere." (I wished dey am had invent teh camra)10 Soez I go in an lookz, an I seen pikchas on teh wall ov: Creepity-crawleez an beestiez an nasty fings an and all teh idolz ov teh haus ov Izrale. So, no pr0n den :-(11 In teh frunt ov dem stud seffenty eldaz ov teh haus ov Izrrale, an Jaazaniah, son ov Shaphan, am stand in der middel ov dem. Eech haff a smokey tin on a chane, an a smelli clowd ov insense rise dere. 12 He sed to me, "Kitteh ov kitteh, haff yu seed wot teh eldaz ov teh haus ov Izrale am do in teh dark, eech at teh shrien ov his own idol? Dey say, 'Teh ceiling cat no duz seez us; teh ceiling cat am forsake teh land.' "13 Agenn, he sed, "Yu will seez dem doing fings dat are even more werse." (hurri up an invents camra plz)

It getz werse

14 Den he bort me to tee open ov norf gaet ov te haus ov teh ceiling cat, an I seed women sit dere, morn for Tammuz (a falz ceiling cat).

15 He sed to me, "Yu see dis, kitteh ov kitteh? Yu will seez dem doing fings dat are even more werser dan diss."

16 He den bort me in to teh inna cort ov teh haus ov teh ceiling cat, and dere near te openin ov der temel, betwene teh porch and teh alta, wer bout twenny-fife d00dz. Ey haff dere bax to dere tempel wer ship teh sun in teh eest. 17 He sed to me, "Haff yu see dis, kitteh ov kitteh? Iz it at eezy for teh haus ov Judah to do dose norty fings? Muss dey also fill teh land wiv fytin an poke me wiv a stik? Looksee dey do stuff dey noez I haet!18 Soez I am treet dem wiv anga; I no look at dem wiv pitty or spaer dem. An iff dey am showt in ma eerz, I be all liek "La la la - I cantz heer yu!"

Ezekiel 8
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