Ezekiel 9

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Old Testament
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Teh Ceiling Cat Givs Instrukshunz

1 Den I herd him call owt in hiz outsied voyce, "Fech der gards ov teh sitty heer, eech wiv a weppon in hiz handy." 2 An I seed six d00dz comin from teh direcshun ov teh uppa gaet, wich loox norf, eech (yu've gessed it) wiv a deddly weppon in hiz handy. Wiv dem woz a d00d dressd in cloff wiv a riytin kit at hiz sied. Dey cum in an stud at teh bronz alta.

3 Now teh glory ov teh ceiling cat ov Izrale goez up in2 teh air, ova it goez up from abuv teh cherrybim, wher it am been, an moevd to teh freshold ov teh tempel. Den teh ceiling cat showted to teh d00d dressd in cloff wiv a riytin kit at hiz sied 4 an sed to he, "Go tru teh sitty ov Jerusalem an put a mark on teh forheds ov dose hoo greev an crise bout all ov teh norty fings dat am happens."

5 Az I listend, he sed to teh uvverz, "Plays 'follw teh leeda; wiv dis man tru teh sitty an u kilt, wiv no pitty or compashun. 6 U kilt der old peepz, yung peepz an maydenz, wimmin an kiddyz too, butt NOT to tutch any peepz hoo haff teh mark. U cann starts heer." So dey begann wiv teh eldaz hoo wer in frunt ov teh tempel.

Teh Norty Am Kilt

7 Den he sed to dem, "Brake up teh tempel an fill teh corts wiv teh ded boddyz. Reddy . . . Set . . . Go!" So dey went owt an began teh killin frew out teh sitty. 8 Wen dey wer owt killin an I woz left aloen, I fell down on ma fase, cryin out, "Ah, Sovrin ceiling cat! Will u maek effrywon dye cuz yoor so angri at Jerusalem? Rly?"

9 He ansad me, "Teh norty ov teh haus ov Izrale an Judah iz vbig; teh land iz full ov bludshed an teh sitty iz full ov unfare. Dey sai, 'Teh ceiling cat am gon away; teh celing cat can has hiz paws ova hiz eyez.' 10 Soez I no look at dem wiv pitty or spaer dem, but I wak dem wiv ma paw for bein so bad." 11 Den teh d00d dressd in cloff wiv a riytin kit at hiz sied cum bak na sed, "I haff dun as yu toad me."

Ezekiel 9
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