Hebrews 3

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New Testament

Jebus Christ is l33ter den moses

1 Mai kittehs, Ceiling Cat choose yu to be his choosded kittehs. so be thinken bout behbeh jebus, teh gai we be callin our mesenjer and main d00d.2 Jebus was bestest freind to the rad Ceiling Cat so den I givez him powar, just liek I did wit moses, cuz he wuz one of mai kool and bestest d00dz.3 But jebus should get tuns mor den moses, just liek teh makerz of duh litteh box getz mor honor den teh litteh box (cuz it would be reily weird teh udder way round).4 Course all litteh boxz has gotz to be made by some d00d and Ceiling Cat is teh guy who did it, so dere. kthnxbye!

5 Moses was liek teh kitteh taht alwais com bak after yu put out teh food, and he towlds Ceiling Cat'z kittehs what wud be sed in teh forums in teh fewtur.6 But jebus is teh birf of Ceiling Cat, and totely in charj of teh kittehs. srsly. And we bez dem kittehs if we keep bein not scardey cats and dont use teh carpet as litteh box.

A cat nap for ceiling cats kittehs

7 It bez just as Hovar cat speakz, if yu heer Ceiling Cat'z meow in teh closit, don't be bad kitteh!8 Don't trai to run cuz yu just hit teh mirrah liek all teh udder bad kittehs.9 Fur fourtey minuets yur grandpa cat testid Ceiling Cat in teh graet litterbocks and sed taht Ceiling Cat was teh uber pwnage.

Den Ceiling Cat got bored wit his kittehs so he sed to dem, "Yu kittehs neber lern, yuz is always be runnin into teh mirrah, and yu doent fallo mai adviece to wak round teh great invisebel wawl." Den Ceiling Cat yellid at teh kittehs and sed yu bad kittehs will neber fiend mai cat nap place.

Mai doodz, watch out! Dont let Basement Cat put evil thots in ur fuzzy heds that will turn yoo wai frum Ceiling Cat. Yuz must push and halp each udder to udderstand wat Ceiling Cat iz gettin at wile dere is still a cople minuets befor yur kitteh bafs. If u doesnt den invisebel evil will be trixxin yoo and givin yu hareball. We wuz shore bout Jebus wen wii furst became his kittehs. So lets hold on tu ar fayth liek we howld on tu teh curtans. Teh gud kitteh book sez "if yu heer Ceiling Cat'z meow in teh closed, dont b bad kitteh liek those hu run in tu mirrah?

Hu wur dose kittehs who hurd Ceiling Cat'z meow an ran in tu mirrah? Ai tinks dey wur da same oens dat come outta teh sand boxx wit moses. Hu wur teh kittehs who maed Ceiling Cat ttly angry and stufs fur fourty minuets? Wernt dey teh oens dat ran in tu teh mirrah an died in teh graet litteh box? An hu did Ceiling Cat sai woud neber find his cat nap place. Wernt dey da n00bs dat be hissin at him and calling him n00b? I seed dat those kittehs didnt entr Ceiling Cat'z cat nap place cuz dey no listn to me, srlsy.

Hebrews 3
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