Isaiah 36

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Old Testament
Isaiah 36
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Song of Solomon Jeremiah Isaiah 35 Isaiah 37
Sennacherib wontz all Jarusalem's baes

1 Oftah Hezekiah had bean da big cheez of da cheezburgr a wiel, unutta kitteh cawld Sennacherib pwnd Judah.2 Den da kittehkeeng told a kittehcheef wit a beeg gang from Lachish to goe to Kittehking Hezekiah at Jerusalem. When da kittehcheef stopped at da watuhbowl of the hai-tub on da whay to Washerman's Field,3 Eliakim, littel kitteh of Hilkiah, da r00lmaykah of da beeg-hows, Shebna, da fielwurkah, and Joah, littel kitteh of da kitteh hoo riet stuf doun called Asaph, went owt too da kittehcheef.

4 Da kittehcheef sedz, "Dis is wot da
beeg kittehking, da kittehking of
Assyria, says: Wai r so shoor ov urself?
5 U sez u no wot u dooing and haf a plan
and dat ur armee is strong but u neva do
nuttin! Wai u go ugenst kittehking? Wtf
6 I noes! U get all ur help frm Egypt,
da week land! Da Fairoh of Egypt ees liek
a broek scratchpost, just hertz kitteh if
kitteh leans on it! Wai u depend on Fairoh-
king of Egypt?
7 And if u sedz to kittehking:
"We gedz all us help from da Ceiling Cat"
den kittehking sez "Didn't Hezekiah taek
away Ceiling Cat's litterboks and sofa and
den sedz too Judah and Jerusalem "All kittehs
must serve bai dis litterboks"?"
8 But u can
maek a deel wid kittehking. U must sez "Us'll
give u two-thousand dogs to carrie u but u must
rejustah dem wit da hoomins"
9 So how kan kittehs
sez no to kittehhelper dats louest of da kittehkings
kittehservants, wen kittehs relie on Egypt for help?!
Srsly, wtf?
10 Ai ask u kittehs, haf ai cum to
pwn dis land witout Ceiling Cat's help? Ceiling
Cat himself toldz me to march into dis land and
pwn it."

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