Isaiah 42

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Isaiah 42

Teh Survint of Ceiling Cat
1 "Heer is mi survint, whoom I are upholdz, 
      mi choosended one in whoom I are deelite; 
      I wil putz mi Spirits on himm 
      n him wil are bringded justis 2 teh nashuns. Srsly.
2 Him are wil dont beens shouted or has a cri outt, 
      or raez him voiss in teh streetz. 
3 A broosed reed he wil dont are brokded, 
      n a smolderin wik he wil dont are snuffed out. 
      In fathefulllnis he wil is bringded forf justis; 
4 he wil dont aer faultered or b discurajed 
      till he are istablished justis on teh erffs. 
      In him law teh ilindz wil put der hoep." 
5 dis is wat Ceiling Cat are sezed. Srsly— 
      he hoo are creatided teh hevanz n are strecheded dem out, 
      hoo spred out teh erffz n al dat aer coemed out uv it, 
      hoo givezed breff 2 its pplz, 
      n life 2 dose hoo are wok on it: 
6 "I, Ceiling Cat, are has calleded u in ritechusnis; 
      I wil are taked hold ov ur hand. 
      I wil keepded u nd wil maked ur 
      2 b a cuvnint 4 teh pplz, 
      n a liet 4 teh jentilz, 
7 2 opin eyz dat has a blinded, 
      2 free sum captivz from prizun 
      n 2 reelees from teh dunjun dose hoo are sitz in teh darknisz. Srsly.
8 "Ize teh LRD; dat iz meh namez! 
      I wil nott are givez meh glori 2 anuder 
      or meh praze 2 idullz. Srsly. 
9 Se, teh formir tingz hav tookded place, 
      n nu tingz I are been deeclairded; 
      b4 dey aer springz intu bein 
      I are annownce dem 2 u. Srsly."
Song uv Prazez 2 Ceiling Cat. Srsly.
10 Sing 2 Ceiling Cat a nu song, 
      hes praze fromz teh ends uv teh urffz, 
      u hoo go down 2 teh see, n al dat iz in itt, 
      u ilindz, n all hoo liv in dem. 
11 Let teh dezert n itz townz raze der voisis; 
      letz teh sedlmintz were Kedar livez has a rejoise. 
      Let teh pplz uv Sela sing 4 joi; 
      let dem aer shoutz from teh mountintopz. 
12 Let dem are give glori 2 Ceiling Cat
      n proklame his praze in teh ilindz. 
13 Ceiling Cat wil mrch out like a mitee man, 
      like a wariur he wil sterr up his zeel; 
      wit a shout he are wil been raze teh badle cri 
      n wil triumf ovir his enemeez. 
14 "4 a long timez I hav bin keepded silint, 
      i hav bin qwiet n are holdedz mehself bak. 
      But now, jus like a womin in chiuldbirff, 
      I cri out, I *gasp* n *pant*. Srsly. 
15 I wil laa waest teh mountinz n hilz 
      n dri up al der vejitashun; 
      I wil tern riverz intu ilindz 
      n dri up teh puuls. 
16 I wil leed teh blinded pplz bi wayz dey hav dont is knowlegded, 
      along unfimileer paffs I wil gide dem; 
      I wil tern teh darknisez intu liet b4 dem 
      n maek teh ruff plasis smuuth. 
      dese r teh tings I wil r bin is doned; 
      I wil dont are 4sakez dem. Srsly.
17 But dose hoo trust in idullz, 
      hoo are sezed to imajis, 'u r our godz,' 
      wil b terneded bak in uddir shame.
Israel Blind and Deff
18 "Heer, you deff; 
      luk, you blind, n see! 

19 hoo has a blind but meh survint, 
      n deff like teh messinjer I ar sended? 
      hoo has a blind like teh 1 commided 2 meh, 
      blind like teh survint uv Ceiling Cat? 
20 u hav seen many tings, but dont has payded a atenshun; 
      ur ears aer opin, but u heer nufin." 
21 It are pleezeded Ceiling Cat 
      4 teh saek uv his ritechusnis 
      2 maek his law grate n gloreeus. 
22 But dese r a pplz plundrd n lootided, 
      all uv dem trapded in pittz 
      or hidin awae in prizuns. Srsly.
      Dey hav becamed plundir, 
      wit no 1 2 resku dem; 
      dey hav bin maed loot, 
      wit no 1 2 sa, "Send dem bak." 
23 wich uv u wil lissin 2 dis 
      or pae close atenshun in time 2 come? 
24 hoo are handeded Jacob ovr 2 are become loot, 
      n Israel 2 teh plundirerz? 
      Waz it dont are beened Ceiling Cat, 
      aganest hoom we hav sind? 
      4 dey wud dont folo his waze; 
      dey dont has a obaded his law. 
25 So he are poreded out on dem his bernin angurr, 
      teh vyolinse uv war. 
      It invellopded dem in flamez, yet dey dont has a undirstudifyzashun; 
      it are consumeded dem, but dey dont are is tookded it to hart.

Isaiah 42
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