Isaiah 53

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Old Testament
Isaiah 53
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Song of Solomon Jeremiah Isaiah 52 Isaiah 54

1 Woo haz beleeved teh storee? N to woo haz been pettd wif da paw of Ceiling Cat?

2 He growd before us, liek a tiny kitteh, liek a root in teh gardenz. He had no soft furz, no invisible bicyclez. Nuthin thas says, “o hai, ai iz prettay cat!”

3 He wuz steppd on by the peoplez, a sad kitteh, woo knowd sorry. Liek doze uglee peoplez, dat uthers look at n sai “ewwww”, he wuz not liekd vry much.

4 But he taekd all the scry stuff n de stuff dat makes kittehs sad n he carried it arnd. We wuz still stoopid n thot that Ceiling Cat punishd dis kitteh, pokd him wif a newspapr n put him in da backyard at nite.

5 He wuz pwnd cuz we doez bad stuff, he wuz hurtd cuz we taek cheezburgr n not ask first. Teh pwnage dat maed us all bettr wuz on dis kitteh n cuz he take it we’z okay now. Srsly.

6 We haz gone liek da sheep n go awy cuz r wai iz bettr den da wai uv Ceiling Cat; but cuz o dis Ceiling Cat haz put da bad stuff on dis kitteh. rly.

7 Dis kitteh had lotza bad stuff happen, but he not say nuthin’. Dis kitteh keep hiz mouf shut. He wuz liek doze sheep dat don’t say nuthin wen they’z bout to be sheard. Dis kitteh keep hiz mouf shut. Srsly.

8 Cuz uv sad n meanness, dis kitteh goed awai. N wut to say bout hiz childrenz? He doesn’t got ani cuz dey told him ta go awai bfore he haz more kittehs. He no had childrenz cuz other kittehs suckz.

9 He had ta stay wit da bad kittehs. Da kind dat no liek Ceiling Cat n think he suckz n da kind dat taek all the cookies n not share. Suckz, cuz dis kitteh wuz gud n rly liekd Ceiling Cat n uder kittehs. He didnt lie, neither.

10 But it wuz Ceiling Cat woo hit dis kitteh wif da newspaper, n tho Ceiling Cat put dis kitteh out in da backyard, he will be nice soon n give many childrenz n let kitteh back inside. Dis kitteh will do da will of Ceiling Cat n it will be great, kthx.

11 Aftr kitteh gets ovr pwnage, then he will b happi cuz all da uder kittehs r happi too. Cuz dis kitteh taekz bad stuff n maeks it gud.

12 Cuz dis kitteh had to deal wif all dis B-S, Ceiling Cat sais he getz all da cheezburgs he wantz. Srsly. N thn he can givez them to his friendz. But only friendz woo love Ceiling Cat and Ceiling Cat’s buddi.

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