Isaiah 61

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Old Testament
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Teh Yaer uf teh fayvor of Ceiling Cat

1 Invisible Ceiling Cat is in mah brainz, makin mah wurdz. Cuz he lurvs me, srsly. Him can has meh, so Iz can tell yu happeh shtuffz - liek cheezburgers to teh hongry, lurvs to dem dat can not haz lurvs, freedoms to teh kittehz in teh pound, Srsly. Oh, an openin of teh kitteh carriers.

2 To let teh kittehs knoah Ceiling Cat is in our Yaer, makin uz happeh. Teh dogz, dey will be pwned, an teh kittehs dat teh dogz not eateded, dey will be comfirteded.

3 For teh kittehz in Zion, dey will be pritteh, an not hav fur dat is wet an matted. Dey will has cheezburgers, an sai "ZOMG! Yaiz!", and no crai fur teh kittehs eateded by teh dogz. Dey shall sai to Ceiling Cat, "You pwnz0r", an not worreh. Dey will be big treez of awesum, an Ceiling Cat shall make them of win, so all kittehs will know that Ceilin Cat pwnz, srsly.

4 Teh kittehz will returnzes to teh sowfa, and to teh chairz, an shed on teh tings dat hav no kitteh haer. An kittehs will hav haers on tings whaer kittehs have not had haers for long time.

5 Hy00mans will openz fudz for yu, srsly, and clean yuz litter.

6 Yu will be BFF wif Ceiling Cat. All teh nashuns will bringz yu cookiez, but yu shall eateded dem all.

7 Yu can not haz shaem, but yu can haz a duble cheezburger. Yu can not haz st00pid, but yu can haz cookiez. All yur cheezburgers will be duble cheezburgers, srsly. Yu will sai, "ZOMG!" fur evah.

8 Cuz I iz Ceiling Cat, and Iz lurvs to givs gud tings to all. I hatz bukkit stealers. I will giv cheezburgerz alwaez, fur evah. Srsly.

9 Evrehboddy will knoah deys kittens, becauze dey will be maed of win and awsum. Cuz I sai so, and I am Ceiling Cat.

10 I can haz Ceiling Cat! ZOMG! He givded meh a kitteh collur of happeh. Liek 2 kittehz who lurvs each othurz.

11 Az teh urfs can haz plantz, and gaerdenz can haz flwrs ZOMG! In dat wai will Ceiling Cat give cheezburgerz to kittez, and make kittez to sai, "ZOMG, d00d!". Srsly.

Isaiah 61
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Song of Solomon Jeremiah Isaiah 60 Isaiah 62
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