Jeremiah 1

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Old Testament

1 Jeremiah wuz son of Hilkiah, a preest frum Anathoth in teh land of Benjamin. He sed dis stuff.2 Ceiling Cat came to him in the thirteenth year of the reign of Josiah son of Amon king of Judah.3 and through the reign of Jehoiakim son of Josiah king of Judah, down to the fifth month of the eleventh year of Zedekiah son of Josiah king of Judah, when the people of Jerusalem went into exile. Neways...

4 Ceiling Cat sed:

5 "Oh hai! Befour I maed u I knew u. U pwn n ur a prophet, k?"

6 I sed "No wai!"

7 Ceiling Cat sed "Wai! Do wut I tells u!8 Dun worry, I can help."

9 Den Ceiling Cat touched me an sed, "I'm in ur mouf, givin u werds."10 Nao u maekz stuff an braekz stuff, k?

11 Ceiling Cat sed "wut u seez?" An I sed "I seez tree!"

12 An Ceiling Cat sed "U iz rite! Yay!"

13 Den Ceiling Cat sed "nao wut u seez?" An I sed "I seez hot waterz comz frum teh norths."

14 An den Ceiling Cat sed "Bad stuf comz from dere!15 They iz bad gaiz!

16 Bcuz dey bad gaiz, Iz gunna help u, k?

17 U getz redy nao, k? Nao u doez wut I sez, k?18 I maed u liek a totally awsum fort!19 Nao bad gaiz not winz, bcuz I helpz u. Srsly." Ceiling Cat sed dat.

Jeremiah 1
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