Jeremiah 35

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Old Testament

The Rcabite Famliez getz cookiez frm Cieling Cat

Jehoikim, teh son of Josiah wuz teh Rulorz of Judah at dis tym, and Cieling Cat spoke teh werdz to Jerimiah, and sed 2 "Go to Recab's famliez. Sai to dem;you can has sied rumz of teh tepl and wienz to drinks" 3 So i fetched Jaazaniah sun of Jerimiah, teh son ofz Habassiniah. Nd i got all of Jaazaniah's peeps and famliez togetherz. 4 Nd den i brote dem to teh templ of Cieling Cat w00t! Then we went to teh rumz of the sunz of sunz of ppl (liek Hanan Sun of Igdaliah or smthin) who all gotz cookies frm Cieling Cat cause they gave him luffs. Dis rum waznxt 2 teh 1 wiv officer ppls and above the rm of anuder rm of sunz of ppl (dey had many suns in dem tymz )who wuz teh l33t gardz of teh tempul. 5 Den i givz teh Rcabite famliez sun wienz an cups and sed "drink teh wienz!!" 6 Bt teh Rcabite mens sed "do not want...Jonadab said you no drinks teh wienz so we no drinks." 7 "Also, we can not maek housez oar put seedz in teh urf, or maek vinyardz or any of dat. We r onli to be in 10tz. Den we will haz much tym on teh urfs ans wan'drars." 8 " So we has dun evryfingz Jonadab tellz uz. Uz, or ou sunz, d0trz can not has wienz." 9 "we nevar maek housez oar grow plantz or anyfingz." 10 "We did wot Jonadab sed." 11 "bt wen teh king of Babylon, Nebuchanezzar 'takkd Judah we sedz, oh noes!!! Go to Jerusalem and they can not has 'takks us no moar! an we staid in J'ruslem" 12 Den Cieling Cat sed to Jerimiah, 13 "Dis is wat teh l33t Cieling Cat of epic cheezburgrz sed: go has speek to teh ppls of J'ruslem an Judah. Yu shud learn lessunz an do wut i sez" sed Cieling Cat. 14 " Dis famliez obayd Jonadab and did not has wienz or hoemz or plantz an yu wer gud an alwiz obaid. but i giz yu commandz!! and you not obai me!" 15 "i sent profets who told pplz mani timez tellin you you can not has invisibul error! can has gd stuffs and will has cookiez! If yu herd wut i'z sayin, yu will liv and has cookies but yu has not listened." 16 "the pplz of Jonadab obaid the commandz of deir ansentorz but teh ppl of Judah did not has a listen to me. Dey did not obai me" 17 "So teh epic Cieling Cat, who pwns ovar all that can not has cheezburger saiz:' you can has all teh ebil fings i sed wud com to Judah nd teh J'ruslem pplz! i spoked to dem but they did not has a listen!" 18 Den Jerimian sed to teh Rcabites, "Dis iz wut teh l33t Cieling Cat of epic cheezburgerz has sed! "you has obais wut ur ansestorz sed an dun wut he comanded" 19 "so dis is wut the l33t Ceiling Cat of epic Cheezburgers has sed; " der will always be a dcendunt of Jonadab sun of Recab to giz me luffs.

Jeremiah 35
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