From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
1 Mai souls r liek "tis is teh sux!" but i wil onley complane to myself and speek bitterliek.2 I sai to Ceiling Cat, "wat is ur problem?!?!3 Do u liek maken me feel bads or somting?? Cus maybe u haet me or somting???4 Do u has eys leik mine?5 Is a dai to u teh saem ting as a dai to me?6 Is u looken for my sins?7 Cuz u kno i dident do any bad tengs so lemme go alredy.8 U ceiling cat maed me, i thought u knows tat!!! But ten u tries to blow me up.9 I says to yuo, tat yuo maed me out of teh dirt but ten yuo can maek me back into teh dirt when yuo says so.10 U pored me out liek teh delecious milk and maed me lumpeh liek teh cheeses.11 U gave me tat skin and stuff and maed me boens so i wouldent fall aparts and stuffs.12 U maed me alive and all tat good tings.13 So i kno u knows tat stuf.14 And if i does teh sins stuff u kno rite away and ten im all liek "oh noes!".15 So if i sins ten too bad but if i teh good kitteh ten i got it maed for me.16 And it liek gets biggr adn stufs. Ten yuo biets me liek teh big cats and ur all scareh and stuffs.17 And ur guys r liek "o hai we gots teh dirts on yuo" and ten do bad tings to me.18 So yuo gots me out of teh mom and im liek, "wat teh point if ur just gonna maek me all bads?! liek srsly man!!!"19 And nao i haets myselfs and wants to be dieds.20 Cuz i dont has much long to be alives so go awai.21 Ten when i gets a die ten i go to teh scareh places where its dark and scareh and stuffs.22 And so i'll be all liek 'oh WTF MAN!1!!!!'."
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