Job 4

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Old Testament
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Eliphaz startz yammerin awai

1 Tehn Eliphaz, teh Temanite saied bak

2 "Ifs 1 shud haz a wurd wiht u, wudz u haz no cookiez? But whu canz not to talkz?

3 But u teached bunch of peeplez, and u maded stronged fallin' cheezburgers.

4 Ur werds holded up peeplez whoz cookies haz falled, ands u haz helded ups bended kneez.

5 But u haz losted ur heartz becuz u getted ur cheezburgrs taked form u, so u iz nots happee.

6 Warez ur wurriez? Whaiz ur notted storng?!?! Howz cumz u cant watez?? WTF?!?!?! Whaiz ur nots purrfectz??

7 Remembrz, nbdy gets skwishered form beings too cuterz!! Wehnz teh storngered beez beated up?!?!

8 I'z sawed evilz peeplez be emoz, adnz tehy sitz adn criez,

9 Teh Ceiling Cat maded tehmz criez, bcuz tehyz r badz.

10 Teh lionz meowz, itz cookies waz taked, adn itz cheezburgrz waz eated.

11 Teh tigerz also gots itz cheezburgrz eated, adn teh kittehs runded awaiz.

12 Adn I'z herds a wisperz cuz mai earz r reel sharpz like. Srsly.

13 Adnz wehn I'z waz asleepz, Iz hadded a badz dream.

14 I waz all scaredz and fritered. Srsly.

15 Mai harez all standz uppers likez I waz electrix!

16 Adnz I sawz sumthin' likez a grt cookie!! Adnz it smellered rly goooodz!!!!!

17 Rz we niced liekz teh Ceiling Cat? Or iz r flvr gooder tahn teh Ceiling Cat?

18 Ceiling Cat'z ayngles r badz, adn Hiz peeplez r laziez.

19 Wehnz will tehy stopped beinz eated liekz teh cheezburgrz?

20 Tehyz be eated all dayz becuz nbdy getz itz liek tehy shudz, adnz tehyz all be eated foreverz!!! Kthnx.

21 Tohse leftz haz gotz no cookiez. Tehy getz eated 2 becuz tehy arez stoopid. Kbai."

Job 4
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