John 18

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New Testament

John 18

Jebus Aresteded Srsly

1 When he woz done prayin to teh Ceiling Cat and stuffs, Jebus took his d00ds and went to teh place wif teh treez wif weird stuffs growin on dem. 2 Now teh evil Judas gui knew dat Jebus took his d00ds there all teh time. 3 So he took HIS army d00ds thar and they had the nasty spiky things that Jebus DID NOT WANT.

4 So Jebus, who knew wat was gonna happen cos he had teh skillz, asked them who dey looks for.

5 So teh army d00ds said 'We want Jebus kthxbai.' 'Iz him' said Jebus. And teh evil Judas gui waz wit dem. |6=Dose army d00ds was like fawlin ova like dey was hi or somtin.

6 Then Jebus said more 'Who was teh d00d yu was lookin fors'. 7 And dey says 'Jebus'

8 'Iz be sayinz dat can be iz' sed Jebus. 'If yuz d00ds be havin iz, let my d00ds go' 9 'So iz not be liin lolz'

10 SymonCat can has a big sord cos he be a ninja cat and him be cutting teh ear of teh big evil preest, which be qwite lolz.

11 But Jebus was lyke 'dont be hurtin dose d00ds and putt dat sord down ' and then Jebus be like some sikologikal shiz wich me not rely undahstand. Somtin bout Ceiling Cats cup and drinkin srsly.

Evil D00ds taekz Jebus to Plaec calleded Anars

So they pwns Jebus and tiez him wif the ropes and stuff, and took him to teh boss cat who does not maek lolz.

SO then one of Jebuses disiple guiz was followin Jebus to see wot they do to him. But the big boss cat knew the d00d so he had to be wait outside. then ladee asked him if he was one of Jebuses d00ds but he said NO WAI.

The big boss cat asked Jebus about his wurdies to th peeples. Jebus sed 'Teh cats have ears (Well maybe not 1 of dem). why not you ask them wot i saids tto dem?' then teh army d00d hits Jebus and sed 'how very dare you talk to Boss Cat liek dat.' But Jebus sed hey i no do anyfink wrong so dont hit me kthxbai'. So tehn big boss cat sent him to even bigger boss cat.

So when teh d00d was standin around some crazy gui asked him if he was jebuses d00d. but he still sed NO WAI. Den one of teh fwends of teh earless army gui sed 'hey didnt you cut mi frends earsies off?' but teh d00d still sed NO WAI. then a crazy chicken who no has flavor started to sing.

So anywai teh army d00ds takes Jebus to teh big boss cat. and teh big boss cat sez 'who dis and why he here?' so teh army d00ds said 'He bad so we bring him to ur office to be fired kthxbai.' So teh boss cat sez 'DO NOT WANT taek him awai nao and do what u watn wif him.' but teh army d00ds sed 'NO WAI we cants die him in his sleeps'. So den boss cat d00d said 'r u teh boss cat of teh joos?' so jebus sed 'i lives in teh hous wif teh ceiling cat kthxbai.' so teh boss cat sed 'so r u teh leeder den?' so jebus sed 'ye i is teh traffic light cat cos evryon on one sied listens to meh but evry1 on otter sied dont.' so teh boss cat be confuzzled so he asked teh joos who he wanted to be releese who was HIS prisoner nao. 'do yoo want meh to be release jebus?' so teh joos sez 'NUUU we wants barbyrus!' barbyrus had been bad man.

John 18
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