John 2

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New Testament

Happy Cat Haz a Magic n Ppl Gets Booze

1 Onz teh tihrd dayz, some pplz was gettin hitchded in Cana inz Galilee, and Happy Cat's momz was there.2 Happy Cat and hiz doodz were liek, "Weez comez 2, lol."3 All teh booze got drinkt, and Happy Cat's momz was liek, "Tehy gotz no booze. Tihs partee iz teh suck!"

4 Happy Cat sed to hiz momz, "Woman! STFU! Mai timez iz not comez.(Burn!)"

5 But hiz mother wanted teh booze and telled the doodz at teh bar,"He willz makes booze. Does whut he sez to do."

6 Nowz, theres waz some bukkitz for washings teh selfs pures. Tehy holded 20-30 gallonz each.

7 Happy Cat sez, "I gots a plan. Momz wantz booze, she getz booze. Fill teh bukkitz with waterz." And teh doodz fillded dem full.

8 He sed to teh doodz, "Teyk som waters to teh party dood." Tehy didz it.9 Teh party dood was liek, "Tihs iz teh booze! I lieks tihs booze! Where didz tihs come?" (Teh doodz who broughted teh booze knowd.) Teh party dood wentz to teh pplz gettin hitchded10 and sed, "WTF!? Most doodz gives teh gud booze first, and tehn crappy booze when pplz iz too drunk to care. But tihs booze pwns!"

11 Happy Cat didded this, teh first of hiz signz, in Cana inz Galilee, and revealded hiz Pwnage; and Happy Cat's doodz beleved in him.

Happy Cat Pwnz At Teh Temple!!!1!

12 Tehn Happy Cat goed to Capernaum wit momz and doodz for soem dayz.

13 It wuz almost Jewish partee day an Happy Cat wen Jerusalem.14 He seed ppls selling shinees and aminalz an thingz in Ceiling Catz place.15 So Happy Cat PWND TEHM IN TEH FACE LOLZ!!!!11!!!1!.16 He sed "Don sel crap in Ceiling Catz place n00b"

17 His doodz lookt it up in a book or somthing.

18 Then teh Jews sez, "Why yu tihnk you hav pwnzor skeels to do tihs?"

19 Happy Cat is like, "Eated this temple up and ai maek nother in tree dayz, n00b."

20 Teh Jews sez, "Oh hay, we don werk dat fast. Took us 46 manz yeerz"21 But Happy Cat was messin wif tehm cuz he wuz talkin bout his bod.22 His doodz figgered it out later.

23 So him wuz havin partee in Jerusalem an pplz saw hiz mad skeelz of pwn.24 But Happy Cat no trust catz.25 No 1 had to tell him cuz himz a cat too LOL.

John 2
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