From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
Happy Cat makz Fishburgerz
1 Aftr dez stuff, teh dscpls sez happy cat at Tiberiases Sea, and he duz it liek ths.2 Simon Petercat and Thomcat whoz naemd Didcatymus and Nathaniel frm Cana in Galilee, Zebedeez sonz, and two othuh dscpls wuz tgthr.3 And Simon Peter sez to thm: "Ize goan out fssshng." And they sez: "Weez goin too." So out goez them and getz into the baot, but they din catchin nuthn. All nght. Srsly.4 Happy Cat, sez dem, but dey did not dink it was Happy Cat.5 He mewd, "Haf u any fish?". Dey zed "Nu".6 He zed, "Drop ur fish net de other wayz". Dey did dis an loz of yumy fish fild teh net an dey couldnt pick it al up.7 Den teh dscpl woh Happy Cat luvz, zed "it is Ceiling Catz kitty", an petercat herd dis he put on his top and jumd in teh nasty watrz to get to Happy Cat.8 Teh othrz came in with the boat and al teh fish.9 Dey sez him cooking fish burgerz.10 Happy Cat sez to dem, "Bring some fish to cook".11 Petercat got teh 153 vry big fish an dropd dem at Happy Cat, an teh net had nu hols in it.12 Happy Cat sez "ymm, eat", an nu dscpls sez "who r u?", dey all knoz he was Ceiling Catz kitty.13 Happy Cat dropd dem teh fishburgers.14 An dat waz twee tiems Happy Cat waz with dscpls after hm liev again.
Happy Cat makz Petercat Happy again
15 Aftr tehy haz teh fishburgrz, Jesus sez to Petercat, "Simon Johnson, doz u luvz me moar thn tihs?" and he sez "lol, yah, I liek u moer than ear rub." and Jesus sez "Mah miec can haz burgrz."
16 And Happy Cat sez gen "Hay Simon Johnson, doz u loves me moar dan tilapia fish?" and he sez "um yah, I liek you moar dan belly rub." and Happy cat sez "U keep mah miec saef."
17 An Happy Cat sez one moar tiem "Hay Simon Johnson, doz u liek me moer dan chin rub? Srsly?" and Petercat iz liek WTF? becuz Happy Cat sezd "Does u liek me" gen and he sez "u knoz evrything, srsly u knoz, I Luvs u." and Happy Cat sez "Moar burgrs for mah miec"
18 "Srsly, srsly, when u waz teh kittehns, u haz teh fur and u goes placez u want; u will haz teh olds and sumone elsz haz teh fur fore u and tehy sez 'U goes here naow, k?' and u sez 'Do not want!' but u goes tehre neways."19 And he sayed teh stuffs becuz tahts haow he diez becuz teh Ceiling Cat pwns. And aftr he sayed teh stuffs he sez "Hy, chase me, k?"
Happy Cat 'n' teh other peeps
20 'N Peter seez Jebuz' favrit personz21 'n when he seez him hez liek "Whatboutz dis gai?"22 an Jezus iz liek "If ai wantz him to livez until I returnz, tehn WTF?"23 An al teh pepolez sedz that he wuold nevah diez cuz o dis. But Jesus dun sez he wuold nevah diez, he juz sez, "If ai wantz him to livez until I returnz, tehn WTF?".
24 Dis iz teh dscpl who sez diz who writez dem. We srsly nowz heez sayin it rght!
25 'N Happy Cat did so lotz othuh stuffs, too. 'N Jesuz did so muchz that if itz were rited, teh bookz wud fill teh whole Urfs!!! srsly!!!
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