John 9

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New Testament

1 An as JebusCat wented wawlkin, he saw man dat wuz blind sinced hiz burf.2 An his disciplez aksed him, sayin, mastah, hoo did sin, dis man, or his parents, dat he wuz burfd blind?3 JebusCat anzwerd, nohbudeh sinnded! Da Ceilin Cat maked him dis wai fur good reasonz.4 I must werk teh werkz ov him dat sent me, while it dai: teh nite comez, when no man can werk.5 As long as im in da wurld, I r light ov teh wurld!!!1!! Yayz me!! 6 When he had sed dat, he spitted hairball on teh ground, an made clay ov teh spittle, an frowed it awnto dat blinded manz iez,7 an sed unto him, go, wash in da pool ov Siloam, kthnxbai. He went his wai, an washd, an came seein. Rad.

8 Teh neighbors, an they which before had seen him dat he wuz blind, sed, WTF? Iz not dis he dat sat an beggd?9 Sum sed, dis ar teh he: others sed, he iz liek him: but he sed, im he!10 Therefore sed they unto him, OMG, How wuz ur eyez opend?11 He anzwerd and sed, Man dat iz called JebusCat made clay, an anontd mine eyez, an sed 2 me go 2 teh pool ov Siloam, an wash: An I went an washd, an I can haz be seein uhgain!.12 Den sed they 2 him, wer iz he? He sed, idk.

13 They brought 2 teh Fariseez him dat wuz blind.14 An it wuz teh sabbath dai when JebusCat made teh clay, an opend his eyez.15 Den again teh Fariseez also askd him how he had receivd his sight. He sed 2 them, he put clay on mine eyez, an I wash, an do C.16 Therefore sed sum ov teh Fariseez, dis man iz not ov Ceilin Cat, cuz he keepz not teh sabbath dai. Others sed, how can man dat iz sinnr do such miraclez? An thar wuz divishun among them.

17 They sayz 2 teh blind man again, wut sayz u ov him, dat he opend ur eyez? He sed, he iz profet. He pwnz.18 But teh JewCats did not bleev concernin him, dat he had been blind, an receivd his sight, til they calld teh parents ov him dat had receivd his sight.19 An they askd them, sayin, doodz, iz dis ur son, hoo ye say wuz born blind? WTF? How den duz he nao C?20 His parents anzwerd dem an sed, we knoe dat dis ar teh r son, an dat he wuz born blind:21 But by wut meanz he nao seez, idk; or hoo haz opend his eyez, idk: he iz ov age; ask him: he shall speek 4 him.22 Thees werdz spaek his parents, cuz they feard teh JewCats: 4 da JewCats had agred already, dat if any man did confes dat he wuz Christ, he shud be put out ov teh synagogue an cant has cheezburger.23 Therefore sed his parents, he iz ov age, ask him.

24 Den again calld they teh man dat wuz blind, an sed unto him, giv Ceilin Cat teh praize: we knoe dat dis man iz sinnr.25 He anzwerd an sed, whethr he be sinnr or no, I knoe not: wan ting I knoe, dat, I wuz blind, nao I C. Word.

1 Persitent tey waz, "Watz he done to u? How canz u now C?" 2 " I haz already told u. Happy Cat alowed to see. Wuld u liek to folow us?" 3 " No. We wif Moses. Ur teh one wif him. 4 We nowz that Ceilin Cat speeked wif Moses, not him." 5 "WTF. He opnz my eyz, and yet u don't know wear he comez from. Idiots. 6 Ceilin Cat doozn't hear sinnerz. He hearz thoz tat dooz gud. 7 No onz ever givn sight to thoz who never could C. 8 If he iz not from Ceilin Cat, tehn where iz he from." 9 "WTF! U waz sinful frum birf, an u tellz us howz to lives!" An wif tat tehy sent him away. 10 Jebus herd of tis an went luking fur teh min. When he waz found Jedus asked " Doz u beilivs in teh Son of Man?" 11 He sayz, " Who iz he, so tat i can beilevs in him?" 12 " Uz seen him. U speek wif him now." 13 " I bewieves. I bewieves." 14 Tehn Jebus sayz: "I iz here to make teh sightless C, an thoz who can C sightless." 15 Som of teh Fariseez hearz him an sayz," Wez not blind, right." 16 Jebus sayz: "If uz blind, there iz no sin. 'But we seez,' you sayz, and tat not gud." No cheezburgrz fur u if u can haz C.

John 9
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