Jonah 3

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Old Testament
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Teh Kitahs of Ninevah lie down

1 Tehn Ceiling Cat looked down from hole in the ceiling agen and sez to Jonah:2 "Oh hai. Go to Nineveh and houl and youwl and tell tehm dis trufs."

3 An' Jonah did what Ceiling Cat toled him to dis tiem, cuz catz hates getting wet. Now Nineveh is a srsly big citteh iz liek three days to com tehre. rly.4 On the first day, Jonah started into the city. He proclaimed: "Forty more days and Nineveh will have no cheezburger. Inbisible Anvil is coming! Ceiling Cat is liek to pwnzd yu. HAHA"

5 wait! no. The Ninevites blieved Ceiling Cat. They put down they cheezburgers and tehy pokemans, even tehy charizzads. Teh king...layd down nekkid in teh dust. oh noes!6 When teh king of Nineveh heered dis, he took off his royal robes, and layd down nekkkid in teh dust. oh noes.7 Then he sez "zomg! OMGWTFBBQ!!1! Nineveh: not let kittahs or aminals or burdies or fishz or mor living stuff has a flavur; do not want. srsly."8 So da kittahs and aminals and hoomans hied in yr dirteh cloze baskitz and preyed.9 Hu knew? Ceiling Cat might think taht good enuf and not eatz us or mek us ded."10 When Ceiling Cat see what tehy did tehre he calls it Caturday and gived tehm cheezburgers and cookies.


Jonah 3
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