Joshua 10

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Old Testament

1 Nao wen Adonizedec teh king of Jeroosalem heer how Joshua taeks Ai an liek totally PWNZ0R it; jus liek Jericho an king so wif Ai an king; an teh kittehs of Gibeon sai we wunna b frends an Izrayl sai k u can plai wif us w00t.

2 Dey wur fraidycats bigtime cos Gibeon r awesum an royal and stuff and biggier den Ai and it has top kittehs.

3 So Adonizedec teh king kitteh of Jeroosalem aks Hoham king kitteh ov Hebron an Priam king kitteh ov Jarmuth an also Japhia king kitteh ov Lachish an evun Debir king kitteh ov Eglon, and he sai

4 "HALP PLZ kills dem all in Gibeon cos dey trators and liek Izrayl nao kthx!"

5 So dey all rise up, teh five king kittehs of Amorites, king kitteh of Jeroosalem, king kitteh ov Hebron, king kitteh of Jarmuth and a bunch of udder king kittehs and dey all camping outside Gideon and it big catfight nao.

6 An kittehs ov Gibeon aks Joshua at Gigal camp "dun forget us k, plz help and save us cuz teh king kittehs ov Amorites frum miaowtuns r heer!"

7 So Joshua kum frum Gilgal an he brings his top warkittehs, awesum.

8 An Ceiling Cat dropped in on Joshua an sai "Dun wurry I gots ur back, dey are kittylitter dude".

9 So Joshua attacked dem suddenlike an it was a long nite.

10 An Ceiling Cat pwnz dem, and kills dem bigtime at Gibeon an chases dem frum Bethhoran to Azekah an to Makkedah.

11 An Ceiling Cat drops big stones on dem as dey runz frum Izrayl to Azekah and deys deadkittys an even moar dies from haylestonez den frum Izrayl kitty swords, awesum.

12 Den Joshua sai to Ceiling Cat stop moon an sun so wee kan hav moar kitty killingtiem an Ceiling Cat stops sun in Gibeon an moon in Ajalon vally.

13 An so sun an moon stops until all kitteh enimees r deadkittys cuz it sai so in book of Jasher or sumfink. An sun stop for whole dai w00t sunspots for kittehs yay.

14 An dis nevar happen agen dat Ceiling Cat do what a kitteh aks cuz it r fur Izrayl, awesum.

15 An Joshua return an all Izrayl wif him to Gilgal, yay.

16 But teh five king kittehs hides in cave at Makkedah, boo.

17 An Joshua herd dat teh five king kttehs r in cave kthx.

18 An Joshua sai, "Put biggy stones on cave, dat will keep dem:

19 An keeps going aftur bad kittiehs an hit dem in backs and stop dem frum going homes cuz Ceiling Cat sai u hav them for kittykilling, awesum".

20 So it hapen dat Joshua an kittiehs ov Izrayl kills lots ov bad kittehs with biggy pwnz0r but a few kittehs got into dey cities but dey arnt killeded aww.

21 An all kittehs return to Makkedah Joshua camp an no kitty sai anyfink bad about Izrayl kthxbai

22 Joshua sai "Gimme dem king kittehs frum cave"..

23 An dey brought teh five king kittehs wiv teh boring names, boo.

24 An Joshua sai, "Kittehs ov Izrayl, put pawz on bad king kitteh neks!" an evrywun does, yay.

25 An Joshua sai "Its K cuz Ceiling Cat iz on ower sied so we alwais win kthx!"

26 . An laetr Joshua hurts bad kittehs an kills dem an hangs dem frum treez til nite, ewww.

27 Den Joshua think enuff, an gets kittehs to takes them dun an puts bak in cave wif biggy stoens forevah evn todai.

28 An Ceiling Cat gif Makkedah to Joshua to pwnz0r an its kitty king jus liek Jericho so no moar Makkedah evah, yay.

29 An Joshua an Izrayl go to Libnah.

30 An Ceiling Cat giv Libnah to Joshua to pwnz0r an its kitty king jus liek Jericho so no moar Libnah evah, yay

31 An Joshua an Izrayl go frum Libnah to Lachish.

32 An Ceiling Cat giv Lachish to Joshua to pwnz0r an its kitty king jus liek Libnah so no moar Lachish evah, yay.

33 . Den king kitteh ov Gezer coem an helps Lachish, Joshua pwnz0r him an all hiz kittehs, til noen left.

34 An Joshua an Izrayl go frum Lachish to Eglon.

35 An guess wat? Same as Lachish.

36 An Joshua an Izrayl go frum Eglon to Hebron.

37 Gues wat hapen to Hebron? Yup, pwnz0r forevah.

38 Ut oh Joshua an Izrayl go to Debir!

39 No moar Debir kittehs, awww.

40 An Joshua kill evry kitteh not Izrayl cuz Ceiling Cat sai it ok, wow.

41 An Joshua kill kittehs frum Kadeshbarnea to Gaza and Goshen to Gibeon. He one mad kitteh.

42 An Ceiling Cat help Joshua kill all dem kittehs. Be caerful wif Ceiling Cat, kthx.

43 An Joshua an Izrayl coem hoem to Gilgal. Ran outta bad kittehs maybe.

Joshua 10
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