Joshua 13

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Old Testament

1 Nao Joshua iz oldkitteh an gettin wobbly; an Ceiling Cat sai "Ur oldkitteh an gettin wobbly an dere's moar land to pwnz0r",2 "Dis iz teh land left: all teh Philistines an all Geshiri,3 Frum Sihor juz befoer Egippt an Ekron which iz Canaaite: five lord kittehs ov Philistines; Gazathites, Ashothites, Eshkalonites, Gittites, Ekronites an Avites:"4 Frum teh souf, all Canaanites land and Mearah dat iz besied teh Sidonians to Aphek, an to teh borders ov teh Amorites:"5 An teh land ov Giblites an all Lebanon to teh east, frum Baalgad unner mount Hermon to Hamath"6 All teh hillbilly kittehs frum Lebanon to Misrephothmaim an all teh Sidonians, I wil pwnz0r an kik out so Izrayl kittehs can has it. Srsly."7 Nao divied dis land between teh nien triebs an teh weird Manasseh one,"8 Teh Reubenites an Gadites can has theirs frum Moses servant ov Ceiling Cat;9 Frum Aroer on teh river Aron an its city an all plane of Medebato Dibon;"10 An all teh cities of Sihon king kitteh ov teh Amorites, which rained in Heshbon, unto teh border ov teh children of Ammon;11 An Gilead, an teh border ov teh Geshurites an Maachathites, an all mownt Hermon, an all Bashan unto Salcah;12 All teh kingdom of Og in Bashan, which rained in Ashtaroth an in Edrei, who remained ov teh giants: fur dese did Moses smited, and cast them owt. \13 Nevertheless teh kitties ov Israel left teh Geshurites, an Maachathites aloan: dey live wif Israyel kittehs todai.

15 An Moses gave stuffs to teh kittehs ov Reuben.16 An their coast was from Aroer, on teh bank ov teh river Arnon, an teh city in teh middle ov teh river, an all teh plain by Medeba;17 Heshbon, an all her cities that ar in teh plain; Dibon, an Bamoth-baal, an Beth-baal-meon,18 An Jahaza, an Kedemoth, an Mephaath,19 An Kirjathaim, an Sibmah, an Zareth-shahar in teh mount ov teh valley,20 An Beth- peor, an Ashdoth-pisgah, an Beth-jeshimoth,21 An all teh cities ov teh plain, an all teh kingdom of Sihon kingkitteh ov teh Amorites, which rained in Heshbon, whom Moses smote with the princes of Midian, Evi, and Rekem, and Zur, and Hur, and Reba, which were dukes ov Sihon.

22 Balaam also teh son ov Beor, teh soothsayer, got kilt by Izrayl kittehs wiv dere own sword awwww.23 An teh border ov teh kittehs of Reuben was Jordan. Dis wus given to teh kittehs ov Reuben, all teh cities an teh villages.24 An Moses gave stuffs to teh tribe of Gad, an his kittehs.25 An their coast was Jazer, an all teh cities of Gilead, an half teh land ov teh children ov Ammon, unto Aroer that is before Rabbah;26 An from Heshbon unto Ramath-mizpeh, and Betonim; and from Mahanaim unto teh border of Debir;27 An in teh valley, Beth-aram, an Beth-nimrah, an Succoth, an Zaphon, teh rest ov teh kingdom ov Sihon king ov Heshbon, Jordan av his border, even unto teh edge ov teh sea ov Chinnereth on teh other side Jordan eastward.28 An all teh kittehs of Gad got dis, teh cities, an their villages yay.

29 An Moses gaev stuffs to teh half tribe ov Manasseh: an dis wuz it:30 An their coast wuz frum Mahanaim, all Bashan, all teh kingdom ov Og king ov Bashan, an all teh towns of Jair, which ar in Bashan, threescore cities:31 An half Gilead, an Ashtaroth, an Edrei, cities ov teh kingdom of Og in Bashan, wuz given to teh children of Machir the son of Manasseh, also to teh one half ov teh children ov Machir by their families.32 Dese are teh countries which Moses gaev fur kittehs in teh plains of Moab, on teh other side Jordan, by Jericho, eastward.33 Only teh Levi kittehs got nuffin; CeilingCat sai he iz all dey need. Wat!

Joshua 13
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