Judges 13

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Old Testament
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Samson getz birfed

1 An' teh kittenz of Izrael hidz teh cookiez from Ceiling Cat, an' He waz mad

2 An' teh kitteh Manoah, his wifez haz no kittenz3 An' ther b anjel, who sayz you haz kittenz4 So do not eatz teh dirty cheezburger5 An' hez deliver cheezburger to teh kittenz o Izrael

6 An' teh wifez goez to her hubbie an she sayz "some dood who looked liek an anjel who wuz vairy awesum.7 he was liek "YOU CAN HAZ KITTENZ juz don' eat teh dirty cheezburgerz!!!11!211!@!"

8 den Manoah prayed to tel Ceiling Cat an' wuz liek "O CEILING CAT LET TEH ANJEL DOOD BE HERE AGINZ BCUZ WE ARE TEH REAL BAD PARENTS."

9 an' teh Ceiling Cat wuz leik I HEER YOU BRO an teh anjel wuz thur agin.10 teh wifez wuz liek DARLING TEH ANJEL IZ HEER AGIN OMGZ!!!1!@!@!

11 an' wen Manoah saw teh anjel he wuz liek ARE YOU TEH ONE WHO TALK TO MAI WIFEZ? an' teh anjel wuz liek LOL YA DAT WUZ ME.

12 an' so Manoah wuz liek "wen we have diz kittenz, wut iz teh kitten gonna do wit hiz lyfe?"

13 teh anjel wuz liek "yer wifez hazta listen to me.14 shez can't eatz no grapez er drink wine er eat nasty stuff."

15 an' Manoah wuz liek "WANNA STAY FER SUPPER LOLZ?"

16 teh anjel wuz liek "LOL silly i dun eat. but offer sum of dat cheezburgerz to teh Ceiling Cat" cuz Manoah wuz a n00b an' didn't notice dat teh anjel was a anjel.

17 an' den Manoah axed teh angel "wut iz yer name?"

Anjel of teh ceiling cat

18 an' teh anjel sayed "lol you won't understand mai name n00b!!2!!"19 an' den Manoah took a yung cheezburger an' sacrifized it. an' DEN teh Ceiling Cat did sumthing ttly 1337 kool:20 as teh flamez were dancinz teh anjel went rite into teh flamez. den Manoah an' hiz wifey did liek faceplants lolz.21 an' wen teh anjel din' come bak Manoah wuz liek "LOLZ DAT WUZ AN ANJEL!!2121@! HAXX!!1`"


22 an' den teh n00b Manoah wuz liek "WE'Z GUN DIE!! WE SAWED TEH CEILING CAT!!212"


23 but hiz wifey wuz liek "if teh Ceiling Cat wuz gunna kill uz, he woulda done it arreddy."


24 an' teh wifey had a bby boy an' hiz name wuz Samson. he grew up an' teh Ceiling Cat gave him 1337 skillz an' he loved teh Ceiling Cat.


25 an' teh spiritz of teh Ceiling Cat startd givin Samson uber cheezburgerz taht maed him teh pwnage wen he wuz in Mahaneh Dam, wich iz btween teh plaecs caled Zorah an' Eshtaol lol.

Judges 13
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