Judges 2

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Old Testament
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Teh Angel of Teh Lord at Bokim

1 N a Wall K4t of t3h Ceiling Cat kame up fr0m Gilgal to Bochim N sai: I maid u 2 go up out of t3h Egypt n i bring u to t3h land i sware unto ur FATHERS LOL! N I SAI: i nevar break covenant (iz f4ncy bibel werd 4 promize) with u 2 N u wil mak no league with t3h ppl of this land--overturn their litterboxes! BUT u hav not obeyed by voise. Y hav u dun this 3 y i sai -- i w0nt rem0ve them 4 u -- th3y be like thorn in side; they Ceiling Cats be trap 4 u. 4 w3n WallCat sai this, decendants of ISHRAEL raiz vois and weep5 an callz place "crybabies" [a] an givs Ceiling Cat cheezburgers, coz dey sry

Disobedience an defeat

6 Aftr joshua had dismisd teh israelitez, they went 2 taek posesshun ov teh land, each 2 his own inheritance.7 Teh peeps servd teh lord throughout teh lifetime ov joshua an ov teh elders hoo outlivd him an hoo had seen all teh great things teh lord had dun 4 israel.8 Joshua son ov nun, teh servant ov teh lord, did at teh age ov hundrd an 10.9 An they burid him in da land ov his inheritance, at timnath herez [b] in da hill country ov efraim, north ov mount gaash.10 Aftr dat whole generashun had been gatherd 2 their fathers, anothr generashun grew up, hoo knew neithr teh lord nor wut he had dun 4 israel.11 Then teh israelitez did evil in da eyez ov teh lord an servd teh baals.12 They forsook teh lord, teh ceilin cat ov their fathers, hoo had brought them out ov egypt. They followd an worshipd various godz ov teh peoplez around them. They provokd teh lord 2 angr13 Cuz they forsook him an servd baal an teh ashtoreths.14 In his angr against israel teh lord handd them ovar 2 raiders hoo plunderd them. He sold them 2 their enemiez all around, whom they wuz no longr able 2 resist.15 Whenevr israel went out 2 fight, teh hand ov teh lord wuz against them 2 defeat them, jus as he had sworn 2 them. They wuz in great distres.16 Then teh lord raisd up judgez, [c] hoo savd them out ov teh hanz ov thees raiders.17 Yet they wud not listen 2 their judgez but prostitutd themselvez 2 othr godz an worshipd them. Unlike their fathers, they quickly turnd frum teh wai in which their fathers had walkd, teh wai ov obedience 2 teh lordz commandz.18 Whenevr teh lord raisd up judge 4 them, he wuz wif teh judge an savd them out ov teh hanz ov their enemiez as long as teh judge livd; 4 da lord had compashun on them as they groand undr dose hoo oppresd an afflictd them.19 Butt when teh judge did, teh peeps returnd 2 ways even moar corrupt than dose ov their fathers, followin othr godz an servin an worshipin them. They refusd 2 giv up their evil practicez an stubborn ways.20 Therefore teh lord wuz vry angry wif israel an sed, "cuz dis nashun has violatd teh covenant dat i laid down 4 their forefathers an has not listend 2 me,21 Im gonna no longr driv out before them any ov teh nashuns joshua left when he did.22 Im gonna use them 2 test israel an c whethr they will keep teh wai ov teh lord an walk in it as their forefathers did."23 Teh lord had allowd dose nashuns 2 remain; he did not driv them out at once by givin them into teh hanz ov joshua.

Teh Footnotez
  • a - Judgez 2:5 bokim meanz weepers .
  • b - Judgez 2:9 also known as timnath serah (c joshua 19:50 an 24:30)
  • c - Judgez 2:16 or leaders ; similarly in versez 17-19
Judges 2
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