Judges 21

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Old Testament

1 Srsly, all teh kittehs swarez in Mispeh, sayin, Benjamin no can marrees r girl kittehs.

2 An teh kittehs went to Ceiling Cat's kitteh condo an staid der and mewd.

3 An sed, Srsly Ceiling Cat, y der be wun tribe of kittehs missin in Isreel?

4 An teh necks day all teh kittehs woak up urly an made a pile of stuff.

5 An teh kittehs uf Isreel sed, Wich kittehs dint come heer wif us to Ceiling Cat's kitteh condo? Cuz all teh kittehs had sed if u no come to Ceiling Cat's kitteh condo dayd kill u an send u to Basement Cat, srsly.

6 An teh kittehs uf Isreel sed, Der is wun tribe uf kittehs dats kicked out uv Isreel.

7 But srsly, how dey gunna have wife kittehs? We sed to Ceiling Cat dat dey no can marrees r girl kittehs.

8 An dey sed, Wich is teh kitteh dats aint heer? But nun of teh kittehs frum Jabeshgilead were der to sez "O hai."

9 Cuz der wurrnt dat many kittehs, and nun uv dem were kittehs frum Jabeshgilead.

10 An dey sent l2,ooo kittehs der, an told dem, Go scratch all teh kittehs of Jabeshgilead, an teh girl kittehs and teh baby kittehs too.

11 An do dis too, kill all teh boy kittehs, an teh girl kittehs dat had buttsecks.

12 An dey fownd foar hunnert girl kittehs dat didnt has buttsecks an brawt dem to Shiloh wich is in Kaynin. (Sownds liek Kaynine but der r no dogs der.)

13 An all teh kittehs sent sum kittehs to meow at teh kittehs uv Benjamin.

14 An Benjamin shode up, and teh kittehs gave him teh girl kittehs dat didnt has buttsecks frum Jabeshgilead, but foar hunnert wusnt enuff.

15 An teh kittehs felt sorry for Benjamins kittehs, cuz Ceiling Cat kickd dem out of Isreel.

16 Den teh old kittehs axed, Teh kittehs of Benjamin dat r left, how dey can has wives? Cuz der r no moar girl kittehs dat didnt has buttsecks.

17 An dey sed, We shuddint kick teh trieb out uf Isreel.

18 How we cant let dem marrees r girl kittehs? Cuz we axed Ceiling Cat, "Ceiling Cat, if a kitteh lets Benjamin can marrees his girl kitteh, pls 2 hits him wif teh noospaper."

19 Den dey sed, Srsly, dey has tuna Fancy Feast for Ceiling Cat evry yeer on teh norf sied uf Bethle, an on teh rode frum Bethle to Shechem, an on teh souf sied uf Lebonah.

20 Den dey tolled teh kittehs uf Benjamin, Go thru Kitteh Door an wait outside. 21 An see if Shilohz girl kittehs come out to play, den go ketch dem an marree dem, an go to Benjamins.

22 An if der daddys start wynin, we'll tellz dem, Srsly, we dint giv u girl kittehs durin war, and u didnt give ur girl kittehs to dem, we didz, so uz in teh cleer.

23 An teh kittehs uf Benjamin took teh girl kittehs an went home.

24 An teh kittehs uf Isreel went home too.

25 Srsly, der wuz no kings den in Isreel, evry kitteh did wutever.

Judges 21
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