Judges 4

From LOLCat Bible Translation Project

Jump to: navigation, search
Old Testament
Bible5.gif
Deborah can has GURRRL POWA!!1!one!!!!!

1 An teh Israelites agen did wut teh Ceiling Cat thawt wus shabby, after Ehud wuz got deded. 2 An Ceiling Cat solded tem to teh Jabin king of Canaan, frum Hazor, whooz armie man wuz Sisera, frum Harosheth ware teh non-kittehs playd. 3 an teh kittehs of teh Israel mewed An seds "Halp Ceiling Cat!11!!!!1", cuz Jabin had alota SUVs An Panzers An stuffs An wuz alwais pwnzing der Israelites at kar raeces. An Jabin wud keep awn winnen fur liek 20 yeers an dat iz looong tiem too getz pwnz0rd fur LOL!!!!!!!!!11


1 Dere wuz dis laydee cawld Deborah An she wuz dis proffitess. She wuz kinda liek hippie cuz she liffd undur a palm tree en da hillz en Ephraim. 2 An she sitted dere cuz eet wuz a daet palm, nawt coconutt palm cuz sitteding unda a coconutt palm iz jus silly an yu getz hitted awn da hed. 3 An cuz Ceiling Cat seded dat Deborah can has smartz, der kittehs uv Israel wud go to her tree An axt her kwestions. 4 An she tolded dis d00d cawld Barak, kitteh uv Abinoam frum Kedesh, "Aint yoo serven uv Ceiling Cat cuz he sed yoo can has cheezburgr!!!!!1111! Taek ur hooj armee to Mownt Tabor!!1!!!! I maek bad gai general Sisera meatz yoos wif hiz Panzers An SUVs at der rivah, srsly. Den yoo pwnz heem." 5 Barak sed "Iz skarded. Wil yoo cum holdz mai paw? Iz no go if yoo no go." 6 An she sed "OMFG yoo ar a l00zer!!!!!11!!1 Iz go wif yoo butt cuz yoo iz skerded yoo no can has faymus fur killen Sisera." 7 An den Barak putted togever teh armee An dere wer liek 10 towsand uv dem an dey awl wen to teh mownten wif Deborah.


1 Wen Sisear herd dat Barak, kitteh uv Abinoam wuz cuming wit hooj armee to pwnz him, 2 he gotted awl hiz SUVs An Panzers An armee d00ds ta go too da rivur too fitez Barak. 3 An den Deborah tolded Barak "GOGOGO!!!one1!!!!! Ceiling Cat bee given yoo Sisera nao, srsly!!!!1!!1!!" An so Barak wented to pwnz Sisera. 4 An den Ceiling Cat caem An ttly pwnzd Sisera's armee. Sisera gotz heeps skarded An sed "kthxbai" an runned awai!!!!1! ROFL!!!!@! 5 Den Barak chaesd der Panzers An SUVs awl teh wai too Harosheth Haggoyim an den dey awl got deded1!11!! AWL UV DEM, SRSLY!!111!!!


Sisera iz skerdee cat, LOL!!1!

1 Nao Sisera had runned awai too hied inn teh tent uv dis laydee cawld Jael, hoo did HARBLS GOES WHERE??? wif Heber teh Kenite, cuz King Jabin An Heber wer BFFs. 2 Jael caem owt uv der tent an sed "Hav sum rests. Dun bee skerded." An Sisera hieded insyde An Jael givded him a blankie. 3 An he sed "I can has watters?" An she givded him sum milks. 4 Den he tolld her "Yoo be garding teh tent nao, k? Tells teh peeps I no iz heer." 5 An den Sisera went sleepz cuz he wuz reel tierd frum runnin awai an bein skerded. An den Jael, hoo did HARBLS GOES WHERE??? wif Heber teh Kenite, gotz a tent peg an hamma an hitz teh tent peg inno Sisera's hed an he got deded. 6 An den Barak caem runnin bai lukin fur Sisera An Jael sed "Oh Hai, yoo lukin fur dis gai? Cuz he deded nao, lol!!1!!!" An den Barak saw Sisera deded on der grownd wif teh tent peg sticken owt uv hiz hed. GROSS!!!!!


1 So on dat dai, Ceiling Cat maeded King Jabin of Canaan rly rly rly imbarass An teh Israelites ROFLMAOWTFBBQ at him!!! Srsly!!!1!! 2 An King Jabin wuz liek leetel bug fur teh Israelites unntill he gotz deded.


Judges 4
Books Chapters
← Previous Next → ← Previous Next →
Joshua Ruth Judges 3 Judges 5
Personal tools