Lamentations 1

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Old Testament
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1 Oh noes! Kitteh is lonelyz cuz no mor peoplez. Kitteh like ladee with no boyfriendz. Kitteh wuz awsm, wuz princess citeh, now is lame.

2 Kitteh cryz!!11! Tearz is on cheekz. Kitteh haz no friendz cuz they stole her cheezbrgr.

3 Judah is exile cuz of teh bad stuffz. Out with teh nationz, no sleep for Judah! Pursuerz follows Kitteh into box!1!

4 Zion roadz is sad cuz nobdy likes them. Gatez iz emtiez. Preests iz complains. Girlz is sad while Kitteh iz sad.

5 Bad Kittehs in charge. Ceiling Cat iz angry cuz Kitteh wuz bad Kitteh. Beh beh kittehs in trouble now.

6 Daughter of Zion haz no splendors. Her princez r liek maisez w no cheezbrgrz and bein chased!

7 Jerusalem sad kitteh. Enemies iz mean!!1! Dey iz happy Kitteh iz sad. Dey eevn teezd Kitteh.

8 Jerusalem wuz bad Kitteh! Now wanderin jitteh. Nobody likes bad Kitteh. NO WANT!

9 Kitteh wuz durty. Very, very bad Kitteh. Emeny big. Bad for Kitteh.

10 Bad gaiz in Ceiling Cat's home. Ceiling cat tinks "GTFO".

11 Teh Kitteh's catz r sad too. Deh wantz cheezbrgrz. Dey trayded der stuffs fer sum cookiez. Dey saiz "Ceiling Cat, wez sorry, k? Srsly!"

12 "Hai! Uthr kitehz! No wun els iz az sad az us bcuz Ceiling Cat wuz not impressed.

13 "Ceiling Cat dun eated me an chekd me fur flayvur and mayd me wai tiered!

14 "He mayd us a punishez and gived us too teh dawgz!

15 "He skwashed all my frenz an tolded ppl 2 skwashed mai kitehz!

16 "I iz sad

17 Zion sayz "I can haz frenz?" but nobudy givz belly rubz.

18 "Ceiling Cat is da boss but made me sad! All my hotties wer stoled!

19 "I talkd 2 mai gerlfren but she leyed! And teh pplz stoped givin me cookiez!

20 "Hai Ceiling Cat, NO WANT!!1! I was kinna bad but dis suxs!

21 "Wen ai purz nobudy cumz an ai iz sad!

22 "Mayk teh bad gaiz sad like me, k? KTNXBY!

Lamentations 1
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