Leviticus 21

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Old Testament
Roolz fur Preests

10 And teh preest who iz teh l33t3st of all teh preests, who got teh speshal hare-jel 4 hiz hed, and teh preestly cloaths 2 ware, muzt not tare them, or sho hiz hed.11 He muzt not go nere teh ded persens, or get durty evr not evn 4 hiz dAd or m0m.12 And he iz groundd insid teh preest plaice, and he had bettr not smash it up, becos he haz teh Ceiling Cats speshal hare-jel on him: I am teh Ceiling Cat.

13 Do not want surprise buttsecks.14 He muztnt go with teh MILF or teh divorsed chix or teh r00d g1rl or teh skank, but onle a n00b from hiz own clan 2 be hiz chix0r.15 So that way hiz kittenz r not teh durty, for I teh Ceiling Cat maik him holey.

16 And Ceiling Cat sez to Mozes,17 Speek to Aaron, say, If any of yr kittenz is unattraktiv, I duz not want them to serv me teh cheezburgrs.18 Becos I duz not lieks teh ugle persens, with no eyez, or teh legz that dont go, or teh nose that is not rownd, or with any extra bitz,19 Or with teh brokken pawz.20 Or iz teh quasimoddo. or teh mijet, or haz sqinty eyez, or teh acne or teh herpies, or who iz firng teh blanks.21 Nobode from familly of Aaron teh preest shal bring teh cheezburgrs of teh Ceiling Cat if they r unattraktiv, becos I lieks 2 b servd by attraktiv peepls.22 I haz cheezburgrs 4 him, both teh ub3r-holey and teh holey.23 But he muzt not com insid teh curtan, or up 2 teh alter, becos he iz unattraktiv; he durtys my plaicez, that I teh Ceiling Cat haz cleend.

24 And Moses tel it 2 Aaron and Aarons sonz, and 2 all teh childrenz of Israel.

Leviticus 21
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