Luke 20

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New Testament

25 "Ceesarz" tehy sayz. So he's like, "geev Ceesar hiz kittytreat n geev Ceiling Cat hiz kittytreat 2 k?"

Kweschun bowt Zombytiem

27 Der wer dez d00dz calld Sadducees, an dem not believ dat kittehs coem bak to lief.28 So dem ax Jebus "O hai. Moses sez dat if a d00d gits deded wif no kittens, him bruvver shud marry ded d00d's widoh to hav kittens.29 So der wuz dez sevin bruvvers. Firs won gits deded wif no kittens,30 so him widdoh marryz secon bruvver, but him gits deded too. No kittens.31 So widdoh marryz third bruvver, an forf an fiff an all ov dem.32 Den her git deded.33 So wen evrybodee coemz bak to lief liek zombys, wich won iz her marryd to?"

34 And Jebus sez, "U moron, only aliev kittehs gits marryd.35 Aftr coem bak, no won gits deded agin.36 So if dem git marryd an hav kittens, den it git too crowded. So aftr coem bak, no moar weddinz.

37 U tink no kittehs coem bak, but remimbr burnin bush? Moses calld Ceiling Cat teh Ceiling Cat of Abrahamsammich, an Ceiling Cat of Isaac, an Ceiling Cat of Jacob.38 An him not Ceiling Cat of deded d00dz, but of livin d00dz."

39 An scribes sez "U r so smrt."40 An aftr dat, dem scairded to ax him kweschuns an luk stoopid.

Jebus Ax Kweschun

41 So sens dem too scairded to ax kweschuns, Jebus ax one. An him sez "How coem dem say dat Christ iz David's kitteh?42 Cuz David sed in Psalms
 Teh Boss sed to my Boss,
 U sit hear nex to me,
43 An I maek ur enimiz into nies pilloh.
44 David callz him Boss, so how is him hiz kitten?" But dem not no ansir.

Jebus Iz Meen Too Scribes

45 Everbuddy heer him saye too hiz frens,46 "DO NOT WANT teh scribes, hoo walk around wif perfeckt fur an rite "FURST!" in teh commentz an steel teh sunny playces to sleep an teh bestest kittytreats.47 Tehy taek wut beelongs too ohter kittehs an brag too Ceiling Cat. They can haz condum ... condumnay ... ppl can say bad things about them."

Luke 20
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