Luke 21

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New Testament

1 Jebus watched teh church fridg an he sawz fat kittehs throwed in bigg cookiez.2 Den a poar skinneh kitteh throwed in rly tinie cookie.3 Jebus wuz liek "Dis tinie cookie iz moar tasti den bigg cookiez. srsly." Teh fat kittehs wuz liek "No wai!"

4 But Jebus wuz all "Wai! Yuz hav lotz for eated. But she haz only tinie cookie an she no eated it!!!"5 Jebus eated all teh cookiez an waz liek6 "Dere will be daiz wif NO cookiez!!"

7 An deh fat kittehs wuz all "Oh noes! When will dis happenz? Liek rite now?"8 But Jebus wuz liek "Nah. Not yetz. But dere will be peeps dat sez 'We can haz apocatlypse?' an yuz shud no followz dem. Cuz deys r jus impersoninatin meh."9 Wen u haer of liek kitteh fite an stufz, dont be scardy kitteh, for dis stufz must happen 1st an it wont be de end fur de kitteh."10 Den he sayd to dem " kitteh will fite against kitteh, kitteh house against kitteh house, kitteh bruva aginst kitteh bruva. will be no gud, buh dun be scardeh kitteh."

11 Den Jebus teh Happy Cat sed "dere will be bad tiemz wen der is no cookyz, naut even tiny wunz, and no cheezburgaz."12 Jebus sayed "buh befoh dis happins, sum bad peeps will come and traiz to eatchoo, fur dey finks dat teh followerkittehz of happycat is gud fur nomz. dey bring u 2 graet houses of teh kingz, and dey will sai 'dese kittehs r fail cuz deys is bff wiv Jebus'"13 "dis meenz dat dey want to maek joo An Witness to teh uber win that iz meh, Jebus, Teh Happy Cat."14 "buh dun wurrieez."15 "cuz i will tell yuu wordz of pwn and epik, and joo shall pwn tehm."16 "u will be btryed by frendz an famileh, sum of u may die17 evry kitteh will hates u becuz of meh18 but iz will try to protekt u"19 Jebus said "If you can has payshuns, you can has teh moar tinie, tastyer cookies!"

20 wen u see teh room bein surownded by teh bad kittehs u will kno teh end is neer

Luke 21
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