Matthew 21

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New Testament
Jeezus coms tuh grapz heepz an getz ahss

1 An den Jeezus got intuh Bethphage clos ta Jerusalem. Dey werz on a heepz ov salty grapz. Den hee sed go to too kitty jeezezes.

2 He dun toldzem. Goto dem hutz and fine some ass and a fillee; bring herz to me.

3 An if deez gize giv yuh guff. Yo meau. Baybee-Ceiling-Cat Jeebas wantz em. Hee wilz shutz up den.

4 It allz happenz lik hee sed. Lik hee haz seez duh fyoocher an sez so.

Dis Pararaable iz Two Kittehz Pararaable

28 Jebus sayed "A naiz hooman had two kittehz. Him sayz to first kitteh, 'good kitteh, yu goes outside nao.'29 " 'DO NOT WANT! iz rainz,' teh kitteh sayz bak. But later is sunni so kitteh goes outside.30 "Den hooman sayz other kitteh 'yu goes outside nao'. Dis kitteh says, 'okbai'. But dis kitteh don't goed outside, kitteh hides under bed.31 "Which kitteh iz bestest kitteh?" is Jebus trix kwestshun. "wtf dis meanz?" disaiplz askd. Jebus sayed, "I sayz srsly, yu is all dum ass, da tax hoomanz, and Romens, and gud jewz, and bad jewz, and fat peepl, and Samariarntans and hookerz are goes up to ceiling before of yuz. srykthnxbai.32 John showded yu to be good kitteh, and yuz did not want. Da tax hoomanz, and Romens, and gud jewz, and bad jewz, and fat peepl, and cheesemakers, and greeks hookerz dided. And even after yuz saw this, yu still dum ass, srsly.

Matthew 21
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