Matthew 7

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New Testament


Jujing othrs

1 "If u juj u wil be jujded. So don't.2 Bcz u will be jujded teh saem az u jujded teh othr d00d.

3 Teh sawdust iz in ur brothrz i, makin u confused. Why u caer so much when u gotz a board in ur i LOL?4 Why u sez "O hai takin teh sawdust out of ur i"? U gotz board in ur i!5 Taek teh board out of ur i furst dumass. Den taek teh dust out of ur brotherz i aftr dat. Duh.

6 Dont giff holi thingz to dogz. Dont give pearlz to pigz. Dey just taer dem up n then taer u up too.

Ask, seek, nad nock!

7 U skrachez teh sofaz n u can haz cookie. Sniffz n u can find cheezberger. Skrach n teh door will opin. Or maybi Ceiling Cat putz in cat flap.8 Evribodi who skrachz getz. Evribodi who sniffz findz, Evribodi who skrahcz door getz to go in.

9 If ur kitteh asks u for cat fued, duz u giffs him a rock LOL?10 Or he wantzes a fish n u giffs him a snaek? LOLOL11 See, u iz evil, but u giffs ur kittehz good gifts. Well Ceiling Cat iz evin bettr dan u n giffs bettr gifts!12 So alwaiz treet othrz liek u want dem to treet u. Is teh law n profetz, dumie. Kthnxbai.

Teh narro and whyd do0rz

13 Come in thru teh litl door. Teh door to destrucshn is big. Lotz of peeplz goes thru.14 But teh door to lief is small. Moast peeplz dont find it.

A tree and its fro0tz

15 Look out for peeplz who tellz teh fyoochur but duz it rong. Dey wair tech clothez of sheepz but dey is wolvz insied. Bad wolvz.16 U know what dey iz by dey frootz. I bet u didn know wolvz had frootz.17 Good treez haz good frootz. Bad treez haz bad frootz.18 Evri tree wif bad frootz will be cutted down an throwed in teh fier.19 Liek I sez, look at teh frootz.20 Sum peeplz who sez "O hai Lord" to me will not go to heavn. Just teh peeplz who duz what Ceiling Cat wantz get to go.

21 When teh tiem comez lotz of peeplz will be all "O hai, we tellded teh fyoochr n chaseded awai demnz n gived cheezburgr in ur name."22 I will sai 'I never knew u LOL. Go awai!'

teh whys and foolish bilders

23 If u heer me n do whut I tellz u, u iz liek teh smart d00d who builded his house on teh rock.24 It rainded n flooded n it wuz windi. But teh house did not fall down bcz of teh rock.25 But if u heer me n duzn do whut I tellz u, u iz liek teh n00b who builded his house on teh sand.26 It rainded n flooded in it wuz windi. N his house falled down LOL."

27 Evribodi wuz impressed wif Happy Cat for sayin all dis.28 everyone was all amazded and bowed tehre heds29 Bcz he wuz cooler than teh law teechrs.

Matthew 7
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