Micah 4

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Old Testament

Ceiling Cat hassa Mowntan, Let him showz yu it!

 1 Wen teh las dayz com

  a tal mowntan ov Ceiling Cat's tempel wil be towtaly ther

  an it be impowtan, srsly!

  It wil be all abov oder hillz,

  an kittehs go to it.

 2 Maneh kitteh plases com an sez,

  "Doods, we can has goes to teh mowntan of Ceiling Cat

  to teh howse of teh Ceiling Cat dat wuz teh Ceiling Cat of Jacob, srsly.

  Ceiling Cat is in ur hed, teeching yu him wayz.

  An yu gonna follow dos wayz! Rly."

  Laws be in ur landz, comin from Zion

  an teh werdz of Ceiling Cat be in urs landz, comin from Joorusalem.

 3 Ceiling Cat gunna be judjin, lol

  An he gunna mek nashuns not fite anymoar!

  Teh nashuns wil mek sowds to plows and stuffz

  an dey speers gunna be mad shawp lik hookses.

  No moar fite!

  No moar pwepar for fite! Yay!

 4 An everee kitteh gunna lay down undah in der own kittehbed.

  an undah him own sofa too!

  No moar scairdy kitteh! Srsly!


 5 Aw teh nashuns can wawk

  in teh nam of oder ceiling kittehs

  But wez gunna wawk wit Ceiling Cat!

  Cuz he forevr! Srsly!

A Plan Ceiling Cat has

 6 "Doodz, lissen. Wen dat day come," yell Ceiling Cat,

  "Iz gunna get all teh lamez0r kittehs

  An all teh kittehs wif no homez

  an all teh kittehs I hert

 7 No moar!

  Iz gunna mak dem a stwong nashun

  An Iz gunna rool ovah dem in Mownt Zion

  Dood, liek forever, srsly.

 8 An joo, Longcat of teh flocks,

  Strong kitteh for teh Doter of Zion,

  Yuz gunna be bak again, lik nu!

  An all teh kittehs will be liek bruders to teh Doter of Joorusalem."

 9 Why yuz cryin?

  Wer yur king, lol?

  Dood, did yur helpah kitteh go away?

  an now yu gunna cry liek a girlkitteh haven kittenz?

 10 lol, cry wif agonee, Doter of Zion,

  Lik a girlkitteh haven kittenz,

  Go awayz! Nao!

  Go to teh cowd feeldz. Srsly

  Bettah yet, go to Babylon,

  At leest der dey wil rescew yu

  An Ceiling Cat be niec to yu der an gif yu cheezburgers, k?

  But teh enemees be givin yu teh cheezburgers, lol.

 11 Manee nashuns

  Dey tink yu not niec

  Dey gunna be lik, "Doodz, let her be all stinkeh!

  Letz glote an look at Zion!"

 12 rofl, but dey dunno,

  Teh planses of teh Ceiling Cat

  Dey not gunnaz undahstand him planses.

  Dey like littr outsied teh littrbocks

 13 "Ries and scoopz, Doter of Zion

  I gunna gif yu Poopa Scoopa of Iron, liek level 30 an stuff, srsly,

  An yu gunna brek oder nashuns, lol."

  Den yu gonna gif all der bad tings to teh Ceiling Cat

  an der cheezburgerz and yarn gunna be Ceiling Cat's, srsly.

Micah 4
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