From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
Teh peeps rebel
1 dat nite all teh members ov teh community raisd their voicez an wept aloud.2 all teh israelitez grumbld against mosez an aaron, an teh whole assembly sed 2 them, "if only we had did in egypt! Or in dis wildernes!3 y iz teh lord bringin us 2 dis land only 2 let us fall by teh sword? R wivez an children will be taken as plundr. Wouldnt it be bettr 4 us 2 go bak 2 egypt?"4 an they sed 2 each othr, "we shud choose leadr an go bak 2 egypt."5 den mosez an aaron fell facedown in frunt ov teh whole israelite assembly gatherd thar.6 joshua son ov nun an caleb son ov jefunneh, hoo wuz among dose hoo had explord teh land, tore their clothez7 an sed 2 teh entire israelite assembly, "teh land we pasd thru an explord iz exceedingly gud.8 if teh lord iz pleezd wif us, he will lead us into dat land, land flowin wif milk an honey, an will giv it 2 us.9 only do not rebel against teh lord. An do not be afraid ov teh peeps ov teh land, cuz we will devour them. Their protecshun iz gone, but teh lord iz wif us. Do not be afraid ov them."10 but teh whole assembly talkd bout stonin them. Den teh glory ov teh lord appeard at teh tent ov meetin 2 all teh israelitez.11 teh lord sed 2 mosez, "how long will thees peeps treat me wif contempt? How long will they refuse 2 bleev in me, in spite ov all teh signs i has performd among them?12 im gonna strike them down wif plague an destroy them, but im gonna mak u into nashun greatr an strongr than they."13 mosez sed 2 teh lord, "den teh egyptianz will hear bout it! By ur powr u brought thees peeps up frum among them.14 an they will tell teh inhabitants ov dis land bout it. They has already herd dat u, lord, r wif thees peeps an dat u, lord, has been seen face 2 face, dat ur cloud stays ovar them, an dat u go before them in pillar ov cloud by dai an pillar ov fire by nite.15 if u put thees peeps 2 death all at wan tiem, teh nashuns hoo has herd dis report bout u will say,16 teh lord wuz not able 2 brin thees peeps into teh land he promisd them on oath, so he slaughterd them in da wildernes.17 "nao cud teh lordz strength be displayd, jus as u has declard:18 teh lord iz slow 2 angr, aboundin in luv an forgivin sin an rebellion. Yet he doez not leef teh guilty unpunishd; he punishez teh children 4 da sin ov teh parents 2 teh third an fourth generashun.19 in accordance wif ur great luv, forgiv teh sin ov thees peeps, jus as u has pardond them frum teh tiem they left egypt til nao."20 teh lord replid, "i has forgiven them, as u askd.21 nevertheles, as surely as i liv an as surely as teh glory ov teh lord fills teh whole earth,22 not wan ov dose hoo saw mah glory an teh signs i performd in egypt an in da wildernes but hoo disobeyd me an testd me 10 tiemsâ€”23 not wan ov them will evr c teh land i promisd on oath 2 their ancestors. No wan hoo has treatd me wif contempt will evr c it.24 but cuz mah servant caleb has different spirit an follows me wholeheartedly, im gonna brin him into teh land he went 2, an his descendants will inherit it.25 since teh amalekitez an canaanitez r livin in da valleys, turn bak 2morrow an set out toward teh desert along teh route 2 teh red sea. [a]"26 teh lord sed 2 mosez an aaron:27 "how long will dis wickd community grumble against me? I has herd teh complaints ov thees grumblin israelitez.28 so tell them, as surely as i liv, declarez teh lord, im gonna do 2 u teh vry ting i herd u say:29 in dis wildernes ur bodiez will fallâ€”evry wan ov u twenty yeers old or moar hoo wuz countd in da census an hoo has grumbld against me.30 not wan ov u will entr teh land i swore wif upliftd hand 2 mak ur home, except caleb son ov jefunneh an joshua son ov nun.31 as 4 ur children dat u sed wud be taken as plundr, im gonna brin them in 2 enjoy teh land u has rejectd.32 but uâ€”ur bodiez will fall in dis wildernes.33 ur children will be sheferdz her 4 forty yeers, sufferin 4 ur unfaithfulnes, til teh last ov ur bodiez liez in da wildernes.34 forty yeersâ€”wan yer 4 each ov teh forty dais u explord teh landâ€”u will suffr 4 ur sins an knoe wut it liek 2 has me against u.35 i, teh lord, has spoken, an im gonna surely do thees things 2 dis whole wickd community, which has bandd togethr against me. They will meet their end in dis wildernes; her they will dye."36 so teh doodz mosez had sent 2 explore teh land, hoo returnd an made teh whole community grumble against him by spreadin bad report bout itâ€”37 thees doodz hoo wuz responsible 4 spreadin teh bad report bout teh land wuz struck down an did ov plague before teh lord.38 ov teh doodz hoo went 2 explore teh land, only joshua son ov nun an caleb son ov jefunneh survivd.39 when mosez reportd dis 2 all teh israelitez, they mournd bitterly.40 early teh next mornin they set out 4 da highest point in da hill country, sayin, "nao we r ready 2 go up 2 teh land teh lord promisd. Surely we has sinnd!"41 but mosez sed, "y r u disobeyin teh lordz command? Dis will not succed!42 do not go up, cuz teh lord iz not wif u. U will be defeatd by ur enemiez,43 4 da amalekitez an canaanitez will face u thar. Cuz u has turnd away frum teh lord, he will not be wif u an u will fall by teh sword."44 nevertheles, in their presumpshun they went up toward teh highest point in da hill country, though neithr mosez nor teh ark ov teh lordz covenant movd frum teh camp.45 den teh amalekitez an canaanitez hoo livd in dat hill country came down an attackd them an beat them down all teh wai 2 hormah.
- a - Numbers 14:25 or teh sea ov reedz
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