From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
1 teh lord sed 2 mosez,2 "speek 2 teh israelitez an say 2 them: aftr u entr teh land im givin u as home3 an u present 2 teh lord fud offerings frum teh herd or teh flock, as an aroma pleasin 2 teh lordâ€”whethr burnt offerings or sacrificez,4 speshul vows or freewill offerings or festival offeringsâ€” 4 den teh person hoo brings an offerin shall present 2 teh lord grain offerin ov tenth ov an efah [a] ov teh finest flour mixd wif quartr ov hin [b] ov oliv oil.5 wif each lamb 4 da burnt offerin or teh sacrifice, prepare quartr ov hin ov wine as drink offerin.6 " wif ram prepare grain offerin ov 2-tenths ov an efah [c] ov teh finest flour mixd wif third ov hin [d] ov oliv oil,7 an third ov hin ov wine as drink offerin. Offr it as an aroma pleasin 2 teh lord.8 " when u prepare young bull as burnt offerin or sacrifice, 4 speshul vow or fellowship offerin 2 teh lord,9 brin wif teh bull grain offerin ov 3-tenths ov an efah [e] ov teh finest flour mixd wif half hin [f] ov oliv oil,10 an also brin half hin ov wine as drink offerin. Dis will be fud offerin, an aroma pleasin 2 teh lord.11 each bull or ram, each lamb or young goat, iz 2 be prepard in dis mannr.12 do dis 4 each wan, 4 as lotz da as u prepare.13 " evryone hoo iz nativ-born must do thees things in dis wai when they present fud offerin as an aroma pleasin 2 teh lord.14 4 da generashuns 2 come, whenevr foreignr or anyone else livin among u prezints fud offerin as an aroma pleasin 2 teh lord, they must do egsaktly as u do.15 teh community iz 2 has teh same rulez 4 u an 4 da foreignr residin among u; dis ar teh lastin ordinance 4 da generashuns 2 come. U an teh foreignr shall be teh same before teh lord:16 teh same laws an regulashuns will apply both 2 u an 2 teh foreignr residin among u. "17 teh lord sed 2 mosez,18 "speek 2 teh israelitez an say 2 them: when u entr teh land 2 which im takin u19 an u eat teh fud ov teh land, present porshun as an offerin 2 teh lord.20 present loaf frum teh furst ov ur ground meal an present it as an offerin frum teh threshin floor.21 throughout teh generashuns 2 come u r 2 giv dis offerin 2 teh lord frum teh furst ov ur ground meal.
Offerings 4 unintenshunal sins
22 " nao if u as community unintenshunally fail 2 keep any ov thees commandz teh lord gaev mosezâ€”23 any ov teh lordz commandz 2 u thru him, frum teh dai teh lord gaev them an continuin thru teh generashuns 2 comeâ€”24 an if dis ar teh dun unintenshunally without teh community bean aware ov it, den teh whole community iz 2 offr young bull 4 burnt offerin as an aroma pleasin 2 teh lord, along wif itz prescribd grain offerin an drink offerin, an male goat 4 sin offerin. [g]25 teh priest iz 2 mak atonement 4 da whole israelite community, an they will be forgiven, 4 it wuz not intenshunal an they has presentd 2 teh lord 4 their wrong fud offerin an sin offerin.26 teh whole israelite community an teh foreigners residin among them will be forgiven, cuz all teh peeps wuz involvd in da unintenshunal wrong.27 " but if jus wan person sins unintenshunally, dat person must brin yer-old female goat 4 sin offerin.28 teh priest iz 2 mak atonement before teh lord 4 da wan hoo errd by sinnin unintenshunally, an when atonement has been made 4 them, they will be forgiven.29 wan an teh same law appliez 2 evryone hoo sins unintenshunally, whethr nativ-born israelite or foreignr residin among u.30 " but anyone hoo sins defiantly, whethr nativ-born or foreignr, blasfemez teh lord an must be cut off frum their peeps.31 cuz they has despisd teh lordz werd an brokd his commandz, they must surely be cut off; their guilt remains on them. "
Teh sabbath-breakr put 2 death
32 while teh israelitez wuz in da wildernes, man wuz findz gatherin wood on teh sabbath dai.33 dose hoo findz him gatherin wood brought him 2 mosez an aaron an teh whole assembly,34 an they kept him in custody, cuz it wuz not clear wut shud be dun 2 him.35 den teh lord sed 2 mosez, "teh man must dye. Teh whole assembly must stone him outside teh camp."36 so teh assembly took him outside teh camp an stond him 2 death, as teh lord commandd mosez.
Stringyz on garments
37 ceiling cat say 2 moses-kitty,38 "tell israel kittes 2 put stringyz on cloths 4evah, an put sum bloo on it, it look kool, DO WANT.39 wen u see stringyz you know hoes = DO NOT WANT (but fun 4 looking).40 den u remembr ceiling cat watches you masturbate, an will giv u teh cheezburger.41 i r ceilin cat, i tak yuo from egypt 2 rool yuo. I B CEILING CAT. "
- a - Numbers 15:4 dat iz, probably bout 3 1/2 poundz or bout 1.5 kilograms
- b - Numbers 15:4 dat iz, bout 1 quart or bout 0.9 litr; also in verse 5
- c - Numbers 15:6 dat iz, probably bout 7 poundz or bout 3 1/4 kilograms
- d - Numbers 15:6 dat iz, bout 2 2/3 pints or bout 1.2 liters; also in verse 7
- e - Numbers 15:9 dat iz, probably bout 11 poundz or bout 5 kilograms
- f - Numbers 15:9 dat iz, bout 1/2 gallon or bout 1.8 liters; also in verse 10
- g - Numbers 15:24 or purificashun offerin; also in versez 25 an 27
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