Numbers 33

From LOLCat Bible Translation Project

Jump to: navigation, search
Old Testament
Numbers 33
Books Chapters
← Previous Next → ← Previous Next →
Leviticus Deuteronomy Numbers 32 Numbers 34
Evrywher Dey Goed

1 K, heres whar teh Israel-kittehs wenta after leevin teh Pharo's base by deevides, leeded bai Moses an Aaron.2 Wen Ceiling Cat sez go, Moses taek notes ov whar. Dis is teh jurnie n steps-

3 Teh Isreal-kittehs lef Rameses on teh fif-teen dae ov firs munth, dae after all teh numur wun Egypt kittens go "Blarg Iz ded", prancin all owt4 wile Egyptians puttin kittens in teh shoeboxes hoo Ceiling Cat maeded ded, pwnin teh Egypt gawds, h00t!

5 Dey lef Rameses an goed to Succoth.

6 Den to Etham, bi teh big litter bocks.

7 Den to Pi Hahiroth neer Migdol.

8 Den crossin teh Reed Sea, den three daes to Desert of Etham at Marah.

9 Den to Elim whar wuz twelve watter-bowls an seventy palm trees. (Srsly, dey cownted!!!1!)

10 Den bak bi Reed Sea.

11 Den to Desert ov Invisible Error.

12 Den to Dophkah.

13 Den to Alush.

14 Den to Rephidim, whar was no watter-bowls.

15 Den to Desert ov Sinai.

16 Den to Kibroth Hattaavah.

17 Den to Hazeroth.

18 Den to Rathmah.

19 Den to Rimmon Perez.

20 Den to Libnah.

21 Den to Rissah.

22 Den to Kehelathah.

23 Den to Mount Shepher.

24 Den to Haradah.

25 Den to Makheloth.

26 Den to Tehath.

27 Den to Terah.

28 Den to Mithcah.

29 Den to Hashmonah.

30 Den to Moseroth.

31 Den to Bene Jaakan.

32 Den to Hor Haggidgad, lol.

33 Den to Jotbathah.

34 Den to Abronah.

35 Den to Ezion Geber.

36 Den to Kadesh n Desert of Zin.

37 Den to Mount Hor at Edom.

38 Den Ceiling Cat tellz Aaron teh Hi-Priest kitteh to goed up Mount Hor an der he sez "Blarg Iz ded" on teh firs dae ov fif munth ov forteith yeer after Israel-kittehs GTFO Egypt.39 Aaron wuz a hundred tenty-three yeers old wen he was ded. (Dat's in hooman yeers, not teh kitteh-yeers.)

40 Dat's wen da Canaanite king-kitteh of Arad, but wif his summer home n Negev, heerd dat teh Israel-kittehs be commin, OMG.

41 Den to Zalmonah. (Heres we goe agin, srsly.)

42 Den to Punon.

43 Den to Oboth.

44 Den to Abarim, on teh border ov Moab.

45 Den to Dibon Gad.

46 Den to Almon Diblathaim.

47 Den to mountains of Abarim fur liek teh third tiem, neer Nebo.

48 Den to Moab, acrost teh Jordan frum Jericho.

49 Den dey finely lay down to likk der tiyrd piggy-pads awl teh way frum Beth Jeshimoth to Abel Shittim, but we wont menshun wat dey did there, lol.

50 On teh planes of Moab acrost frum Jericho, Ceiling Cat sez to Moses,51 "Tels mai d00ds- 'Oh hai! U dun walkin nao? Nao u d00ds wanna listen to me? K, when u goes acrost into Canaan,52 telz evrybudy dere to GTFO. Chew up awl teh idols and scratch up awl der hi-sofas.53 Pwn teh hole land cuz Iz sez DO WANT!54 Give awl mai d00ds sum sofas accrdin to yer clans. Big buncha kittahs get big sofas, lil buncha kittehs get teh luv-seets. An dont fight and scratch teh others sofas, cuz u getz wat u getz.

55 "But if u dont telz dem to GTFO, dose d00ds will be awl up n yer bisness, moochin yer cookies and eatin yer cheezburgerz, srsly.56 Then Iz gunna pwn u d00ds agin an maek u walk around naemin plases agin an burnin up yer piggy-pads in teh deserts. Kthxbai.'"

Personal tools