Numbers 36

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Old Testament
Teh In-hair-tants of Zelophehad's Girl Kittenz

1 Teh Tomcats hoo maeked teh kittehz at Gilean, teh kitteh ov Machir, teh kitteh uv Manasseh, of teh famleez uv teh kittehz of Joseph, camed neer, an meowd at Moses, and at teh princez, teh boss Tomcats of teh kittehs of Israel:2 They sayd, Ceilign Cat tellded my boss-kat to giv teh land foar an inhertince by lot to teh kittehz of Israel: n my boss-kat gotz commanded bi Ceiling Cat 2 giv teh inhertince ov Zelophehad (ar bruvver)2 hiz girl kittehs.3 N if they is married with enny of teh boy kittehz of teh othah tribez of teh kittehs of Israel, then the inhertince will has be taked frum teh inhertince of ar dad kittehz.4 When teh Year of Teh Jubilee cumz they're inheritence will be putz in2 that of teh tribe they getz marries in2, an they're property will b takes out of teh traibs inheritics of are 4fathers.

5 Ceiling Cat OKs Moses 2 giv this oardur: "What teh tribe of teh descendants of Joe is saying is write.6 This iz wat teh Ceiling Cat ocmmandz 4 Zelophehad's girlz: They can getz marries wif any boy-kittehs in ther father-cat'z clann.7 No wayz teh inheritentsez in Israel is 2 goez from wun tribe 2 teh nex, youz gotta keepz tribel landz in teh saim traib.8 Everi girl-kittenz hoo inhairits lan haz gotta marriez in teh saim traib az hur fadder-kat. Dat way, teh saim lan stayz wit teh saim traib. Easy-ur 2 rembember.9 Noe inherrtints can haz pass frum tribe 2 tribe, 4 each tribe has gots 2 keep whateverz it inherits."

10 No probz. Zelophehad's girlz didz what Ceiling Cat saided 2 Moses Cat.11 Teh kittenz uv Zelophehad - Mahlah, Tirzah, Hoglah, Milcah, an Noah (Noah's a girl???) (not ark bildr) - married they're cousin-kats (INCEST!!!) on they're fathur-kat's side.12 They marries with in teh clanz of teh descendants of Manassah son of Joe, and teh inheritence stais with teh father clann an traibe.

13 These are teh commands and teh boorokratik regoulashuns witch teh Ceiling Cat gave via Moses Cat 2 teh Israelites on teh flat spacez of Moab by teh Jordan acroxx frum Jericho.

Numbers 36
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Leviticus Deuteronomy Numbers 35 Deuteronomy 1
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