Numbers 6

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Old Testament
Teh Nazirite

1 and so teh ceiling cat wuz liek, Moses,2 tell ur peeps, Wehn teh manz awr womanz shud seprate tehmselves to vow teh Nazarararitey, to, liek, suprate tehmselves to teh ceiling cat,3 tehy gotta liek nawt drink teh wines awr 20-proofz. also grape juice awr grapes awr raisins.4 also seeds nd skinz.

5 also, no liek shaev hed, be liek teh hippez.6 K, so wile suparate he cnt go c teh ded pplz.7 Even if liek his bro ded, no can see cuz dat is uncealn.8 all teh wile he consecarateded 2 ceiling cat.

9 If alls of a sudden some1 go "FAIL!" in his presents, hes gots 2 shave his hed on teh 7 day.10 And on teh 8 day hes gots 2 bring 2 doves oar 2 pidgins 2 teh preest at teh Tent of Teh Meeting.11 Teh preest has gots to PWN teh birdies, 1 as teh sin offerin' and 1 as teh burnt offerin'. Then teh dude has gots 2 consecrate his hed.12 Hes gots 2 start ova with his days of seperation, and dedicate himself 2 teh Lord, and bring a yer-old lamby 4 teh guilt offerin'.

13 Now dis is teh law 4 teh Nazirite 4 wen teh period of teh separation is ova: Hes gots 2 go 2 teh entrance of teh Tent of Teh Meeting.14 There hes gots 2 present a yer-old boy lamb 4 dats reel perdy 4 teh burnt offerin', a yer-old ewe lamb dats reel perdy 4 teh sin offerin, and a perdy ram 4 teh fellowship offerin'.15 o and hes also gots 2 present teh grain offerin' and teh drink offerin' and teh basket of bread (mmm... breads) with no yeast (mmm... crackers) and teh cakes (mmm... cakes) made wit teh fine flowerr mixed with oil, and teh wafers spred wit oil.

16 Teh preest is 2 present them b4 teh Lord and make teh sin offerin' and teh burnt offerin'.17 He is 2 present teh basket of crackers (mmm... crackers) and is 2 PWN teh ram as teh fellowship offerin' 2 teh Lord, togetha wit it's grain offerin' and drink offerin'.

18 Then at teh entrance of teh Tent of Teh Meeting, teh Nazirite has gots 2 shave off teh hair dat he has dedicated. He is 2 take teh hair and puts it in teh fire dat is unda teh sacrifice of teh fellowship offerin'.

19 Afta teh Nazirite has shaved off teh hair of his dedication, teh preest is 2 place in his hands a boiled shoulder of teh PWNED ram, and a cake (mmm... cake) and a wafer (I can has a chocolate wafer plz???) from teh basket. Do Not Want yeast!20 Teh preest shall then wave them b4 teh Lord as a wave offerin'. They b holy and belong 2 teh preest, togetha wit teh boobs dat were waved and teh legs dat wer presented. After dat, teh Nazirine may drink wine (I can getz drunk now? Really? Kthanksbye!)

21 Dis is teh law of teh Nazirite hoo vows his offerin; 2 teh Lord in accordance wit his separation, in addition 2 whatever else he can afford. He must fulfill teh vow he haz made, in accordanse 2 teh law of teh Nazirite (u has gots 2 keep teh Nazirite sacred honor. srsly.)

Teh Preesty Blessing

22 Teh Lord sayz 2 Moses Cat,23 Tell Aaron Cat and hiz boy kittenz, "Dis is how u r 2 bless teh Israelites. Say 2 them:

24 'Teh Lord bless u and keep u.25 Teh Lord make his face shine upon u and b gracious 2 u.26 Teh Lord turn his face toward u and give u peace!'

27 So they will out my Name on teh Israelites, and I is gonna bless them!"

Numbers 6
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