From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
1 A good name iz gooder than tresurez; to be respect iz gooder than ur minerals.
2 Both d00dz that has cheezburger an no has cheezburger can has dis; coz they r just maded by the Ceiling Cat.
3 A gud kitteh seez teh evil, an hiedz himslf: but teh simpel n00bs pass on an get spankded.
4 Humbl & sacrdy cat of Cieling Cat iz cheezburgrz, honur, an lief.
5 Wikkid cat haz thorns an stuffs in hiz way, but cat wif guarded soul is totes ok.
6 Teach da baybeez how to go, an wen dey is older dey won turn 'way.
7 Rich cat rules da poor cat, an lender is da boss uf da borrower.
8 Wicked cat is gonna get in trubble, an da rod of his fury will be destroyed, o noes!
9 A generous kitty will be blessed wen he shares his chowz wif da poor.
10 Shoo the mocker an stryfe is lyke kthxbai, an quarrels an stuffs are ovar.
11 Kittah who lurfs a pure heart and talks all gracious an stuffs will be da best buds wif da king.
12 Da eyes of Ceiling Cat watch over da smarts, but da words of unfaithful kittahs makes him all sad :(
13 Lazy cat sez, "holy crap, lions!!!" or "i'z gonna die in da streetz!"
14 Mouf of an adultress is wai deeps, an u will fall in if Ceiling Cat doesn't likes u.
15 Da heart of a baybee holds da folly, but the oweees of discipline makes it go far away.
16 He who is mean to da poor so he can has more stuffs an guyz who gives presents an treetz an stuffs to da rich-- both will be poor cats.
Seyzings of teh brayns
17 U iz not brayns, u listen to teh seyzings of teh brayns; putz ur heart in what-I-sez mode,
20 I has written 30 things for u, an dey were smart stuffs
21 to teach u good stuffs so u can look real s-m-r-t smrt.
22 Do not be meen to da poor kittahs wen dey is poor an do not squish dem in da court
23 cuz Ceiling Cat will defends dem for Great Justice an plunder dose who is meen.
24 Do not make buddeez wif a hawt-temper dood an do not hangs out wif dem who is angree
25 or u could end up lyke dem an dat wood be vry sad.
26 Don't be a kittah who claws stuffs with promises of cash
27 if u cannot pay den dey will taek da towel u maded ur bed.
28 Iz bad to move stuffs ur grandkitty set up.
29 U seez a kittah who is gud at sleepin an eatin an attakin shinies? He will be da kittah of kings an not haf to deel wif silly peoples.
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