Psalm 59

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Old Testament
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1 Saev me from teh nastees Ceiling Cat, n maek shoor ai is protecteds.

2 Saev me from teh evil kittehs, n saev me from teh killah hoomins.

3 Look at thems waitin to pwn me! Feers kittehs is maekin teh evil plans evun tho ai did not do anyfing to be meen, Ceiling Cat! (DO NOT WANT).

4 Ai has not dun bad stuffs but they gonna pwn me. Com hear and helps, look how meen they ar. O noes!

5 Teh bestest kool Ceiling Cat, com and sort owt all teh plaises n then YOU can pwn all teh baddy trayter wuns. Srsly.

6 In teh nite-tyms they com back n they is scairy liek dogs not kittehs eny moar, n they is about evrywair.

7 Do you see wot they is doin? They is all liek "BUUUUUUUUURP! Nobody heers us burpin!"

8 But Ceiling Cat, you is all liek "LOL STFU NOOBZ!"

11 Doan kil them tho, Ceiling Cat! Or all teh kittehs wil forgets. Cos you is so powful, maek them wander about wif no naise hoomin to look after thems.

12 For teh invisible errors and teh bad stuffs they say, maek shoor bad stuffs hapun to thems. For teh lise and meen stuffs they say,

13 PWN them! PWN them til thair no kitteh left to pwn. Then all teh kittehs on teh Urfs noes that Ceiling Cat is way betta than Jacob. Srsly.

14 In teh nite-tyms they com back n they is scairy liek dogs not kittehs eny moar, n they is about evrywair.

15 They is lookin all around for otha kittehs' noms, n maek a howl if they doan gets nun.

16 But ai is hapee n singing cos you is the strongerest, n in teh morning ai is to be singing cos you has teh luv. Cos you ar liek teh gardin fents n keep me saef wen ai has a scair (DO NOT WANT).

17 You teh besterest, Ceiling Cat, liek teh gardin fents.

Psalm 59
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