Revelation 12

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New Testament
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Teh female kitteh an teh eevl puppeh

1 And there wuz a great wunder in teh Ceiling; a brite, shiny prettyz like teh sun, and teh nite sun shonez beneth this; and abuv tis thingz wuz a crown of shinyz starz:2 And one kewl thing wuz kitteh who haz babe kittehz, an itz mewin cuz it hurtin, and teh bebe kitteh wuld not come out.

3 And there wuz another thingz in teh Ceiling; and tis thingz wuz scary, like an evil puppeh that barked cuz he wuz angry4 And tis evil puppeh wagged hiz tale and drew teh starz from teh Ceiling and did casted tem to teh erf. And teh evul puppeh stooded in front uf teh prehgnent kitteh wich wuz reddy to haf teh bebe kitteh, so he culd eated it.5 And teh bebe kitteh wuz a male kitteh, who wuld rulez teh erf and all itz nationz wit an iron paw: and tis kitteh was caught up to teh Ceiling, next to teh Ceiling Cat.6 And teh momma kitteh rided hur invisuble bicycle away, to some place only teh Ceiling Cat can watch.

7 And there wuz a war in teh Ceiling: teh offensive catz foughted teh evul puppeh;8 And teh evul puppeh wuz casted out of teh Ceiling9 That evul puppeh called teh devul, and Satun, which digz in teh backyard, and peez on teh rugz: he wuz casted out onto teh erf, along wif teh other puppehs.10 And I can hearz shouting from teh Ceiling, it sayz, Now iz all safe, for teh evul puppeh haz been casted out, which peeded on teh rugz and digdid in teh backyard.11 And tey beated teh puppeh by teh word of teh Ceiling Cat.12 Therez 4 be happyz 2 all teh kittehs that livz in teh Ceiling with teh Ceiling Cat. Mewlz to all teh peoplez on teh erf and all teh fishiez an tingz in teh watur, 4 teh evul puppeh is wif yoo! OMG An teh puppeh iz mad cuz he wuz beated by teh Ceiling Cat.

13 An when teh puppeh looked aroun him, he chazed teh kitteh on hur invisuble bike.14 An 2 tis kitteh wuz givun wingz like a burd OMFG so shes culd fly away frum teh evul puppeh.15 An teh evul puppeh liftud hiz leg an he peeded aftur hur like itz a flooded!16 An teh erf helpud teh kitteh by opuning itz mouf and it drankdid teh pee pee! LOL!17 An teh stoopid puppeh wuz mad an he bark but so wut? So teh evul puppeh vowed vengenze on teh kittehs that luved teh Ceiling Cat and do wut Ceiling Cat sez.

Revelation 12
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